Donor Confessions

What do you think... is it ok to lie to a person that is dying? That is a question I get to ask myself over and over again for the last 3 years. My Dad was very sick. I do not want to say too much about it to protect my identity, but after his diagnosis, we knew that he did not have much time left. He needed a kidney transplant and he needed one fast.
My sister and I immediately went to the doctors to see if we were a match and could save his life by giving him one of our kidneys.
I remember that my sister's appointment was on a Tuesday, mine was following the next day on Wednesday.
Here comes the horrible part... I never went to my appointment. I was drinking and partying the night before and overslept. It was such a terrible, horrible and terrifying time and I used to get my mind off things by doing a lot of wrong stuff with a lot of wrong people.

I woke up in a haze on Thursday afternoon to a frantic phone call from my sister telling me that she was no match. She was crying hysterically and beyond reasoning. I still remember that moment. I could have said that I forgot my appointment and that I would make another one. But a lot of other stuff happened before (I do not want to talk about it in detail), that I was ashamed to admit it. In this moment, I was certain, if my sister was not a match, I would not be one either.

So, I lied. I said I WAS at the appointment and that I also was not able to donate.
In that moment I really believed that the universe would not be so sadistic and evil as to let my kind and good father die because of his terrible excuse of a daughter.

Well, he lived for 3 more months. They were not able to find a match or a donor in time. And I will never know if I could have saved his life.

#father   #dying   #donor   #match   #lying   #lie   #horrible   #death   #confession   #ashamed  

I had to write an essay about the topic "Organ donation - Should people who are involved in an accident automatically be donors?"
I think it's a very stupid question and of course, everyone should be a donor.
I just wrote "People involved in an accident are dead anyway."
Got a F but it was totally worth it.

#organ   #donation   #accident   #donor   #involve   #dead   #grade   #essay   #confession