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I'm 24 years old and have been married for three years. For the past year we have been trying to get pregnant with no luck. This week I just found out that i'm pregnant. Problem is that two weeks ago I attended a conference for my company where I had to stay overnight. That evening my boss and I had dinner where we had a bottle of wine then afterward went to the bar for a couple more drinks. I then made the mistake of going back to his room for a nightcap where we ended up kissing which led to us sleeping together having unprotected intercourse. Now I have no idea whos baby I'm carrying but suspect it's his since my husband and I were having trouble conceiving.
I often find myself fantasizing about having a baby even though I don't want to be a mother, love children, but one day they'll grow out of that and I can't bear the responsibility of raising another human being and just tossing them into society one day.
I wanted to say yes already but still I'm doubting, I don't know why. Maybe becaluse I'm afraid he would just take it for granted. I'm being skeptic ugghhh. #NBSBPROBLEM
I don't know anymore if I still love my girlfriend or not. I keep telling myself that I still have to love her because I am always thinking about our relationship and about her and if I don't love her, I wouldn't think about her all the time, right?
The problem is that I don't trust her anymore. Not that she cheating on me, but she kissed one of our friends on the mouth and I was really upset about it.
She also hangs out a lot with her ex boyfriend. Not alone but at parties because he's still a member of her circle of friends. She keeps telling me that he's such a dick but I can't believe her, especially not when she's drunk. Sober she's the nicest person ever but drunk, she's a real bitch.
Furthermore, I doubt that she really loves me either. She tells me so but she does so many conflictive things, like texting with her ex (and she knows that drives me crazy!) or keep forgetting that we wanted to meet and stuff like that.
Thank you to all of you who read my text!
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