Hoe Confessions

A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend. She was thrilled at the speed.

"If I do 200mph, will you take off your clothes?" he asked.

"Yes!" said his adventurous girlfriend.

And as he gets up to 200, she peeled off all her clothes.

Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car skidded onto some gravel and flipped over. The naked girl was thrown clear, but he was jammed beneath the steering wheel.

"Go and get help!" he cried.

"But I can't. I'm naked and my clothes are gone!"

"Take my shoe", he said, "and cover yourself."

Holding the shoe over her pubes, the girl ran down the road and found a service station. Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded to the service station proprietor, "Please help me! My boyfriend's stuck!"

The proprietor looked at the shoe and said, "There's nothing I can do...he's in too far."

#embarrassment   #shoe   #car   #crash   #boyfriend  

I was shopping the other day looking for some cute shoes for my new dress. I even found some shoes, brown ones with closers on the right sight. Like you can imagine those shoes were SO EXPENSIVE, I could never ever in my life afford them. I just put them on, left my old sneakers behind and walked out of the store. 2 policemen were standing in front of the building, I nicely said hello and went on.

#shopping   #dress   #shoes   #closer   #sneaker   #thief   #police   #confess  

I was in a class,when I laughed at a teacher's mistake 🤣

I was with my wife at one of her friends house. I went to use the restroom & noticed a pair of sexy black heels. I got turned on & I proceeded to masturbate in them. I shot my cum all over them. I cleaned them up & left the bathroom. Now, everytime I see her friend wearing them, I get so turned on !

#horny  

The witches hoes. Yes. A real live witch. Read on for clarity. This is like watching a soap opera; except I’m living in it. Hot naked women everywhere. One deranged old woman who looks like a basset hound. You wonder “why is she on the show”.
Now I get it. I heard the old hoe jump up & rush in to get the bathroom ready. Then she rushed in the kitchen to put on coffee & start cooking breakfast.
In the morning the 30 pretty stacked witch comes in. Her old hoe has been prepping for two hours. Waking me up. She’s in there showering. Doing her hair. Putting on nice clothes. She never does that for her husband. In fact; he now feeds himself out of cans & drive thru’s. He’s very moody from the new deal & stays gone. When he’s here he hides in his room. He has to take allergy meds now. Same for his old wife.
The witches dogs & cats now run the house. Barking all night. Cats fighting. Trashing everything. Eating off the table & counters. I’m not kidding. Cat bowls are on the kitchen table & counters. Litter boxes on the fridges & food pantries. It’s like a pet store.
So old hoe wakes me up. She runs around primping. Then looks at the clock. I peek out. She’s sitting in a chair trying to look pretty. She jumps up to warm up the shower & start the food. In comes the witch.
When the witch is not here the hoes bitch about the dogs & cats. One dog even bites them. Causing the old hoe to cry. The young one to cuss.
At night the young hoe does the cooking. Elaborate meals. The old hoe sulks unless her name is called. She will take out the trash & wash the dishes.
The witch runs it all. She will pull up & block the driveway. Order them to empty her car. They wash her car. The old one washes & cares for her clothes. Folds them carefully. Shops for her.
The old man is broken. He just sulks. When the witch comes in he goes to hide in his room. He used to eat with his wife. Now he fends for himself. Occasionally they call him out for a bowl of soup. While they eat steaks or such. I’m not kidding.
The old & young hoes snipe when she’s not here. At each other. At everyone. They used to be happy. Not now. But if she just smiles at them they are thrilled. They buy her stuff. The old hoe only eats at night if invited. It’s so odd. She will stand or sit waiting. She eats whatever they give her. Of course she does. She’s the old hoe on the soap opera. Then she yells at her old broke dingle husband.
The young one now only sees her boyfriend when allowed. She coughs day & night from the rabbit cages & dogs in her room. Big dogs now sleep in her bed. I’ve been trying to figure this out.
They are hoes competing for her attention.
They usually are bickering. But at times they both complain. They tell me she’s a real witch. I thought they meant the magic power ones. I said oh; they don’t just drink, they have a crack pipe hid somewhere.
No. They mean she’s a controlling witch. Using her big boobs & honey trap to play them like fools.
Now I know why they turned on me. The other day the witch tried to flirt with me. No luck. So she then tried to boss me around. I told her to go F herself. So now she’s passive to me. But her hoes are mad at me. That’s so pathetic. The witch is the school jock. They are the lame hoes licking the poop he dribbles on the floor. Oh baby. Let me lick that poop.
So the witch is just playing her hoes. Especially the old hoe.
Come on people. But a vibrator or something.

#witch   #hoe   #whore