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I’m dependent on my boyfriend for income and we live together in our house. I love him but I’m so unhappy. I don’t know what to do anymore. I try to just forget how I feel and be positive about everything but it’s so hard to shove all of my feelings to the back of my mind. When I do say how I feel I end up being the bad guy because I get so angry and frustrated or I break down into a sobbing mess. When the ladder happens he apologizes and promises to change but then nothing ever does. It’s not like all of the things he does separately are deal breakers but when you lump it all together it just feels like so much and I can’t can’t handle it. I am so lost and hurting and there’s nothing I can really do about it
#relationships #struggle #dependent #heartbreak #love #alone
My body barely stays alive. Last time I tried a med I need. Nearly died. So this time I ate way wrong. Pushed body to limit. To do good for those I love. Now I’m trying the med again. Messing me up. But without the med I’ll die faster than otherwise guaranteed. This gives me a chance if it works. Don’t know if I can will myself thru it. Or if I should.
Hi. If you’re reading this and you're wondering why I’m writing my own story in this online platform, then the answer is I don't know. Sometimes I wonder why I was given a chance to live my life here in earth. I don't know my real calling. Every time I ask myself, what’s your purpose here on earth then I just stare at the open. I really don’t know the real answer. I keep telling myself that we’re born here on Earth for a reason. At the stage of my life right now, I don’t feel like I’m doing the things that God wanted me to do. I mean I have a decent job. I have my loving girlfriend, family and friends. Everyday became a routine. I work, eat, go home and do the things that make me happy. When I contemplate about things in life, the first thing that comes in my mind is about my relationship. I have a girlfriend and I’m a girl. I believe in God but they said that being a homosexual is a sin. Is loving really a sin? I don’t love a person because of gender. I love a person because there are certain qualities in her/him that I find cute and interesting. Gender should not be a deciding factor for you in choosing a person to love. Love is love. I’m afraid to tell my parents about my true self because I know they wouldn’t accept it. I really love them and I know it hurts so much knowing that the people you really love will disown you. I know someday I’ll have the courage to tell them the real me.
my cousin is 17 and i am 20. he is skinny/fit with beautiful blue eyes and blonde hair...gorgeous. unfortunetly, he is my 2nd cousin by blood i believe/: we have been talking on and off for about 4 years and have only met up twice for a week each time every 2 years. we have so much in common and i feel a real connection with him on more than just a physical level. we have flirted and cuddled and i think i have real feelings for him and him for me. unfortunetly i have a bf whom i have been wanting to leave for quite some time now but i just havent had the heart really i guess...im not sure if its my heart or his that isnt ready. all i know is that since this relationship i have become depressed, anorexic, and violent. he is a wonderful guy but i feel like all of these negative things are happening because im not happy where i am in this relationship rn and i started loosing feelings for him a few months ago. and the weaker my feelings get for him the stronger they get for my cousin...im going back to visit him before the next reunion in 2 years. i plan on visiting in a couple months but i havent let my bf know yet...idek if ill be togther with him,at that point...even if i do break up with him i wouldnt want to be with anyone else except for my cousin. what do i do? i cant stop wanting him but i know its wrong/:
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