-Now the paperwork –
-What if I don’t want to do the Ultimate, right away? Maybe I want to ease into this thing gently.
-No you don’t.
-I might. I might just want to ease into the activity, the idea of it.
-it’ll be fine, said Rebecca.
-you will be fine, and no regrets, honestly. Jillian took me over to the desk.
-No possible regrets, said Rebecca, just sign this, she handed me a sheaf of forms.
-Jesus I don’t want to buy the place, I scanned the pages – 45 pages.
-just fill in page 25 through28 and sign.
-Pages 25 through 28, what is this?
Rebecca took the pages of forms from my hand – look its simple stuff, here we’ll read it through. Jillian looked over her shoulder at the pages
-weight?
-what?
- Say 110, Jillian said.
-Height?
-5’ 8’’, Jillian again.
-Hair length?
-What? Why?
-Long, Jillian again.
-Cup size?
- O come on.
- say C
-how about say nothing, I was getting angry
-Shaved or bikini or natural?
-Fuck off
Rebecca ticked a box anyway – well she was at the waxing too. Why ask in fact?
-Last menstrual cycle?
- enough, enough, give me those papers
-Yes ignore that, said Rebecca taking the pages away from my grasping hand
-Tested? she said this to Jillian
-Tested? What tested? What do you mean tested?
-Yes, said Jillian, I forwarded a blood sample from the main island
-You what!
-You were sleeping.
-Great now sign here, Rebecca handed me a page and a pen
-Who has blood samples for a theme park?
-Everyone
-especially the staff, can’t have mi’lady getting STDs
I took a breath
-This is getting a bit weird guys are you sure? I mean, well this is a bit, weird.
-We’re 100 and a million per cent sure, said Jillian
- 100 million per cent, said Rebecca
