#alcohol

Hi, this is Ganymede, cup-bearer to Zeus, and when I'm out buying wine for the Lord of the Skies, I always buckle up! ↗

— Rick Riordan

#greek #humor #mythology #public-service-announcement #safety

And in my mind, this settles the issue. I would never drink cologne, and am therefore not an alcoholic. ↗

— Augusten Burroughs

#drinking #humor #humor

And so Harry became proficient in the task of cleaning up vomit. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#humor #skills #humor

I began to think vodka was my drink at last. It didn’t taste like anything, but it went straight down into my stomach like a sword swallowers’ sword and made me feel powerful and godlike. ↗

— Sylvia Plath

#drinking #drinking

When you quit drinking you stop waiting. ↗

— Caroline Knapp

#drinking #sobriety #love

I once heard a sober alcoholic say that drinking never made him happy, but it made him feel like he was going to be happy in about fifteen minutes. That was exactly it, and I couldn’t understand why the happiness never came, couldn’t see the flaw in my thinking, couldn’t see that alcohol kept me trapped in a world of illusion, procrastination, paralysis. I lived always in the future, never in the present. Next time, next time! Next time I drank it would be different, next time it would make me feel good again. And all my efforts were doomed, because already drinking hadn’t made me feel good in years. ↗

— Heather King

#alcohol

It's 4:58 on Friday afternoon. Do you know where your margarita is? ↗

— Amy Neftzger

#drinking #friday #humor #humorous #margarita

An alcoholic is someone you don't like, who drinks as much as you do. ↗

— Dylan Thomas

#definitions #humor #substance-abuse #humor

It used to be that each time you fell in love, the effort of loving released in you the energy to hold everything together a little longer. Then, after several months or years, when things began to crack apart again, you would fall in love with someone else. New energy would be released, and for a time you and your world would be safe once more. By now, however, you have exhausted that. There seems to be no energy left - if you had discovered alcohol earlier it might have saved a few broken hearts. For you, alcohol is not the problem - it's the solution: dissolving all the separate parts into one. A universal solvent. An ocean. ↗

— Ron Butlin

#love

Alcohol is like love," he said. "The first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. After that you take the girl's clothes off. ↗

— Raymond Chandler

#habitude #love #routine #love