#ash

People can be so emotionally unintelligent. When I ask them how they’re doing they just make brusque comments like “I’m good, thanks.” After years of trying to get cashiers to talk about their feelings and having to deal with the bottled-up aggression of the customers behind me, I’ve lost all faith in humanity’s ability to connect with each other at the checkout counter. ↗

— Bauvard

#cashiers #funny #humor #faith

She’s my mate; that makes her mine. Forgetting that will see your neck no longer serving its purpose.” “I love it when you talk dirty,” she purred. “Give my regards to Lindsay. ↗

— Sylvia Day

#lindsay #vashti #love

The test of someone’s authenticity is to wait until they think you’re not looking, then check the tag under their collar. ↗

— Bauvard

#fashion #funny #humor #funny

Money is seen as a great evil. But I've never seen a pile of cash stab someone. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#evil #funny #humor #money #funny

When wearing a loincloth is not customary, it is risque. Being old-fashioned never goes out of style. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #loincloths #old-fashioned #style #underwear

We're all headed for the junkyard. But not me. When that time comes, I'm crashing into the car dealership. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #junkyards #trash #funny

And besides . . . I don’t want to leave you. Er, you guys.” He smiled, and it lit up his whole face. “Well, ‘we’ are certainly happy to hear that. Oh, and I’m also happy to watch our darling little love child dragon while you’re in St. Louis.” I grinned back. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#awww #contentment #conversation #humor #love

Oh... Adrian, I've got one more favor to ask you. A big one." "Fondue?" he asked hopefully. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#favors #humor #sydney-sage #humor

Speed eliminates all doubt. Am I smart enough? Will people like me? Do I really look all right in this plastic jumpsuit? ↗

— David Sedaris

#humor #self-doubt #self-worth #humor

Avery worries about her, too, so Lissa's in good hands. Avery's pretty amazing." I gave him a scathing look. "Amazing? Do you like her or something?" I hadn't forgotten Avery's comment about leaving the door unlocked for him. "Of course I like her. She's a great person." "No, I mean like. Not like." "Oh, I see," he said, rolling his eyes. "We're dealing with elementary school definitions of 'like'. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#blood-promise #rose-hathaway #vampire-academy #school