#ate

Her name is Denise, and she has green eyes and red hair. Well, this week. Last week her hair was dyed blonde, and she had blue eyes. Or maybe that was a different woman. I don’t know. All I know is that she is my soul mate.
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— Jarod Kintz

#blue-eyes #green-eyes #love #red-hair #soul-mate

What's love if not the thing you'll do anything and everything to get back once lost? What's hate if not the thing you'll do anything and everything to get rid of once found? ↗

— Brian Celio

#back #everything #found #get #hate

Drunken men give some of the best pep talks. ↗

— Criss Jami

#best #conversation #drink #drinking #drunk

New rules. If you are smart enough to live, you won’t hit Charles’s mate in front of his father. ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#anna-cornick #bran-cornick #charles-cornick #cry-wolf #defense

The problem with the Tea Party is they're all ignorant hillbillies who drink moonshine and ride around on mules. And they believe in stereotypes too. ↗

— Jon Stewart

#politics-of-the-united-states #humor

Jesus "...It sounds like these guys would be filed under Assholes Who do Evil Shit in My Name. ↗

— Kevin Hearne

#irony #understatements #humor

‎"Sarge, mr. Nurd here is threatening to turn me to jelly." "really?" said Sarge. "what flavor? ↗

— John Connolly

#gates #humor #john-connolly #science-fiction-fantasy #humor

It did not look like the work of God, but it might have represented the handicraft of a God with a joyous sense of humor, a dancing God who loved mischief as much as prayer, and playfulness as much as mischief. ↗

— Pat Conroy

#god #humor

But if there was a protocol for how to say goodbye to your newly ex-boyfriend's brother, right after you kissed him and probably sent your ex into the arms of his willing ex-girlfriend, I didn't know what it was. ↗

— Rachel Vincent

#humor #if-i-die #rachel-vincent #soul-screamers #true

You're arguing in a circle," I said. "In a spiral," said Lamiel, "which is the best way to argue. ↗

— Harry Blamires

#humor