#bizarre

Dear Ford, I think my Ford Explorer door is broken. It just won’t close. I think this is because I don’t have the rest of the Explorer, I only have the door. It’s a passenger-side door, and I bought it from a passenger. Also, it doesn’t seem to be able to lock. I think the latch isn’t catching, or something. I think it’s missing some crucial parts, and I’d like to order them from you. I need: one frame, four wheels, a body, another door, an engine, a steering wheel, and some of those air fresheners that you stick in the vents. And I’m feeling frisky with my money, so let me go ahead and order some brakes while I’m at it. You can send the bill to the Pizza Hut on San Jose Boulevard. They’ll just deliver it to me, along with the pizza I just ordered. Thank you, Jarod Kintz ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#e-mail #ford #funny #humor #ridiculous

A blanket could be considered part of performance art, if you’re inconsiderate and steal all the covers while we’re asleep—and film me shivering and twitching in the night. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

We're all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it, that's all. ↗

— John Hughes

#freaks #normalcy #bizarre

You are so bizarre, even for a human." "Thanks. ↗

— Stephenie Meyer

#isabella-swan #bizarre

All things are strange which are worth knowing. ↗

— Catherynne M. Valente

#knowledge #odd #strange #bizarre

Reality is bizarre enough for me. ↗

— Jane Lane

#bizarre

I can tie a cherry stem into a knot with my tongue. Now, if only I could do the same with my shoelaces, I wouldn’t have to banana pudding my way to success.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #cherry #knot #nonsense #ridiculous

Then again, she had-through a bizarre combination of skill, dumb luck and incredible misfortune-managed to build up a file any Debunker would envy. ↗

— Stacia Kane

#bizarre

Love knows no boundaries. I wish I would have known that before I hired a cartographer to map out my romantic territory. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #boundaries #cartographer #funny #humor

A brick could used as a dagger, much like a blanket could be used to cool off after a heated argument. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny