#bizarre

A brick could be divided into four equal pieces and split among three friends. I’ll take the two largest pieces, or half, whichever makes me appear the most generous.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket #funny #humor #random #sharing

A brick could be used instead of a red light. They’re both red, and I’d run both with equal fervor.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

It was only high school after all, definitely one of the most bizarre periods in a person’s life. How anyone can come through that time well adjusted on any level is an absolute miracle. ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#bullies #experiences #growing-up #high-school #high-school-kids

A brick could be used to determine whether you are really in love or not. But you’re never going to be able to tell for sure if you try to run the experiment with the brick upside down. Keep flipping the brick over until the desired outcome is reached, and then you’ll know for certain the test is valid.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

I want to get the huge wart that looks like a nose removed from my back, but first I'm going to try to grow a mustache underneath it, to make it less noticeable. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#blemish #funny #grotesque #humor #mustache

Custodianship must be mine. I would find Agatha and take my son into my arms, a wonder of childhood obesity, his mother’s form still a smile on his lips, no pale blue heart problems, no nursery rhymes. The rhythm of the feet would be enough for him. We would mop floors together, sweep. He would hold the bucket and the dustpan while I taught him of the essentials of life. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#funny-and-random #parenting #funny

Never was a cornflake girl; Thought it was a good solution: hanging with the raisin girls. ↗

— Tori Amos

#bizarre #bizarre

A brick could be used as a musical instrument. It doesn’t matter how bad it sounds, because I’ll be the band’s lead singer, and my sexy voice is like melted butter on a corn on the cob lodged directly into your anus. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used to attract a potential life partner. Yes indeed, and it’s how I met my ex wife. And the only reason she didn’t become my life partner was because I outlived our relationship, despite her numerous attempts to kill me. I’m 31 years old now, so thank God for modern science enabling me to achieve such longevity. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

If you make a film normally it's all right, the distributors are helpful and cooperative. But if you make a film that's a little stange, a little bizarre, then all the time it's a struggle with them. ↗

— Dario Argento

#cooperative #distributors #film #helpful #little