#bs

Dear Teens at Starbucks wearing 'Abstain from Sex 2 Attain Ur Goals' t-shirts: Doesn't it depend on what my goals are? ↗

— John Green

#humor #teens #twitter #humor

Let me also say I wanna make you sandwhiches, And soup, And peanut butter cookies, Though, the truth is peanutbutter is actually really bad for you 'cause they grow peanuts in old cotton fields to clean the toxins out of the soil, But hey, you like peanutbutter and I like you! ↗

— Andrea Gibson

#love #poem #love

If warm air rises, Heaven could be hotter than Hell. ↗

— Steven Wright

#humor #humor

Stars are only the rain of the Absolute. ↗

— Dejan Stojanovic

#dejan-stojanovic #literature #poetry #poets #quotes

This dwarf still observes the world from his own self-imposed height. ↗

— Dejan Stojanovic

#dejan-stojanovic #dwarf #dwarfs #height #heights

To me, everyday is an observance of a 'holy day' for 'this is the day the Lord has made' and as such I do not observe high nor 'low' Holy days." ~R. Alan Woods {2013] ↗

— R. Alan Woods

#observance #r-alan-woods #r-alan-woods

Christ's humanity is presentation, His words & works are the substance encapsulating his Divinity". ~R. Alan Woods [2013] ↗

— R. Alan Woods

#presentation #r-alan-woods #substance #truth #truths

‎"If we are truly the Lord's, we all walk with a limp" ~R. Alan Woods [2012] *Note: 'Jacobs Ladder'. ↗

— R. Alan Woods

#r-alan-woods #r-alan-woods

I’m beginning to sense a theme,” Mircea said, tossing his suit coat over a buckskin-covered chair. A moose head with huge, outspread antlers loomed over it, its bright glass eyes looking oddly lifelike in the low light. Mircea took in the room, his expression slightly repulsed yet fascinated. “I believe there is only one thing to say at this point.” What’s that?” Yee haw,” he said gravely, and took me down like a rodeo calf. ↗

— Karen Chance

#cassie #humor #mircea #humor

Whatever story you're telling, it will be more interesting if, at the end you add, "and then everything burst into flames. ↗

— Brian P. Cleary

#observational-comedy #observations #storytelling #humor