#cas

Can you enter a house uninvited?" "No." "Why?" "That would be rude. ↗

— Abigail Gibbs

#humor #sarcasm #vampire-mythology #violet #humor

I couldn’t see Pritkin’s face very well, just a pale blur against the shadows, but he didn’t sound happy. Some people thought he had only one mode... pissed off. In reality, he had plenty of them. Over the past few weeks, I’d learned to tell the difference between real pissed off, impatient pissed off and scared pissed off. I suspected that this was the last kind. If so, that made two of us. ↗

— Karen Chance

#humor #karen-chance-sarcasm #pritkin #humor

I’m beginning to sense a theme,” Mircea said, tossing his suit coat over a buckskin-covered chair. A moose head with huge, outspread antlers loomed over it, its bright glass eyes looking oddly lifelike in the low light. Mircea took in the room, his expression slightly repulsed yet fascinated. “I believe there is only one thing to say at this point.” What’s that?” Yee haw,” he said gravely, and took me down like a rodeo calf. ↗

— Karen Chance

#cassie #humor #mircea #humor

I have church on Sunday.” “Of course you do.” “You’re welcome to come along.” “Thanks, but I’m allergic to incense.” “That’s a shame.” “It’s the bane of my existence.” - Beth and Jake ↗

— Alexandra Adornetto

#religion #sarcasm #humor

I'm still furious with you," she murmured, kissing a line down his chest. "Oh, God, please don't be furious," he choked out quickly. "Every female I know is furious with me. Rosalyn throws tantrums, and Charlotte hasn't spoken to me or written since you left." He moved his hands to unbutton her gown. "The morning I thought you'd sailed out of my life I started drinking and didn't stop until I'd finished two bottles. For three days I had a blistering headache, and Nedda couldn't for the life of her stop banging things." He groaned. "And I can't even begin to tell you about your sisters. ↗

— Adele Ashworth

#funny #love #sarcastic #funny

Okay, well I think the programme is like being screamed at for an hour by a drunk with a strobe-light, but like I said-- ↗

— David Nicholls

#hilarious #saracasm #funny

Well I ain't Dr. Phil, but I'm smart," she said. "And your shoes are cuter than his," I said, trying to sound at least semi-normal. "Yeah they remind me of Dorothy's ruby slippers, only mine are wedges 'cause I'm more fashion conscious than she was. ↗

— P.C. Cast

#dr-phil #funny #hidden #house-of-night #kramisha

Get over here. Sheldon's had an idea." "Who's Sheldon?", said Isabelle. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#city-of-lost-souls #isabelle-lightwood #magnus-bane #the-mortal-instruments #magnus-bane

But the name Magnus Bane made him think of a towering sort of figure, with huge shoulders and formal purple warlock’s robes, calling down fire and lightning. Not Magnus himself, who was more of a cross between a panther and a demented elf. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#cassandra-clare #kissed #magnus-bane #mortal-instruments #magnus-bane

What did Isabelle want?" Jace asked. Alec hesitated. "Isabelle says the Queen of the Seelie Court has requested an audience with us." "Sure," said Magnus. "And Madonna wants me as a backup dancer on her next world tour. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#city-of-ashes #magnus-bane #magnus-bane