#cas

You have something on your neck. What Looks like a bite mark, what were you doing out all night, anyway? Nothing. I went walking in the park. Tried to clear my head. And ran into a vampire What? No! I fell. On your neck? ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#city-of-ashes #city-of-bones #city-of-glass #humor #humor

Take off your shirt." Jace raised his eyebrows. "I'm not going to attack you," she said impatiently. "I can take the sight of your naked chest without swooning." "Are you sure?" he asked, obediently sliding the shirt off his shoulders. "Because viewing my naked chest has caused many women to seriously injure themselves stampeding to get to me. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#city-of-lost-souls #clary-fray #funny #humor #jace-lightwood

If you say ‘we’re in this together,’ I’m going to hurl. ↗

— Kelley Armstrong

#sarcasm #humor

I am in full possession of the amazing power of being sarcastic. ↗

— Sarah Rees Brennan

#sarcasm #humor

Church was doing what he often did when dropped - lying on his back with all four legs in the air, pretending to be dead in order to induce guilt in his owners. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#cat #church #city-of-lost-souls #humor #pretence

the [coat] rack above his head like a javelin. On the other side of the door was Jace. He blinked. "Is that a coatrack?" Jordan slammed the coatrack down on the ground and sighed. "If you'd been a vampire, this would have been a lot more useful." "Yes," said Jace. "Or, you know, just someone with a lot of coats. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#jace #mortal-instruments #sarcasm #humor

Hey, Carlos," the Professor says when he walks in. "How was REACH?" "It sucked." "Can you be more specific?" my guardian asks. "It really sucked," I elaborate, sarcasm dripping from every word. ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#humor #perfect-chemistry #sarcasm #humor

Yes, we'll yell, 'Help, help us, goose girl, and bring the terrifying legion of warrior geese'. ↗

— Shannon Hale

#humor #isi #sarcasm #humor

Yes. Reyn is our resident horse master. He has an excellent seat." I grinned. "I've noticed." Reyn's face tightened and Nell flushed, looking embarrassed. "It's an equestrian term." "Really? I thought you were talking about his ass. ↗

— Cate Tiernan

#sarcasm #teasing #witty #humor

You said you have issues and, you know, I'm sure you do, because we all have issues and yeah, some are a lot more complicated than others, but at the end of the day, everyone has something in there past that isn't pleasant" "The thing is, you can go on living in the past, never letting yourself heal and move on, or you can accept what happened, painful as that might be, and then realize that you have a life and now and you have something wonderful right in front of you ↗

— Lisa Maris Davis

#life