#ch

Did those nice church ladies come by again?" He nodded. "I asked them if a man died and then the woman remarried, and then the three of them met in heaven, would it be a sin for them to have a threesome, since they were all married in God's eye. And they decided they were late to be somewhere else. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#ascanio #awesome #church #funny #hilarious

hey. I just wanted to make sure you got home," I say. "Katniss, I live three houses away from you," he says. ↗

— Suzanne Collins

#fire #funny #games #hunger #funny

The biggest challenge after success is shutting up about it. ↗

— Criss Jami

#arrogance #arrogant #boasting #bragging #challenges

Xxxx xxxx x xxxx, xxxxx xxx x xxx xxx x xxxx. Xxxx xxxx xxxx x xxxxx xxxx xx Xxxxxxx. ↗

— Pseudonymous Bosch

#funny #humor #nonsense #pseudonymous #the-name-of-this-book-is-secret

I only snatched him to get your attention,” I said. “Now that I’ve got it, this is what I want.” “Damn my dame!” Al shouted, hands raised to the ceiling. “I knew it! Not another list! ↗

— Kim Harrison

#funny #rachel #funny

*Appendix usually means "small outgrowth from large intestine," but in this case it means "additional information accompanying main text." Or are those really the same things? Think carefully before you insult this book. ↗

— Pseudonymous Bosch

#boch #funny #humor #pseudonymous #funny

The police called it choking, but I called it a two-handed neck hug. That’s how I knew she really loved me. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#attempted-murder #authorities #choke #choking #crime

Leaning forward in your chair when someone is trying to squeeze behind you isn't enough. You also have to move the chair. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#funny #truth #funny

No,” Shane said. “I’m not leaving you two here alone. We stick together.” “I’m still not kissing you,” Michael said. “Tease. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#michael #shane #funny

How'd you get to be so good at this?" "I had a good teacher." "Better not have been Myrnin or I'll have to kick his predatory ass." "I mean you, dummy." "Oh. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#funny #ghost-town #humor #morganville-vampires #myrnin