#chi

I was a hip kid. When I saw Bambi it was the midnight show. ↗

— George Carlin

#childhood #hip #humor #strippers #humor

Babies don't come with instruction booklets. You'd learn the same way we all do -- you'd read up on dinosaurs, you'd Google backhoes and skidders. And you don't need a penis to go buy a baseball glove. ↗

— Jodi Picoult

#humor #life #parenting #humor

I thought of several alec smart remarks, but you should humor crazy people when you're at their mercy; it's a rule. ↗

— Laurell K. Hamilton

#chimera #narcissus-in-chains #humor

You know what love means? It means loving the person you are now and not the person you want someone to be or the person they will be. ↗

— Samantha Stroh Bailey

#humor #romance-funny #romantic-comedy #funny

Children accept many things adults will not accept, since the world of a child is a constant revelation without any need for knowledge of cause and effect. ("Miss Esperson") ↗

— August Derleth

#imagination #imagination

Remember that you own what happened to you. If your childhood was less than ideal, you may have been raised thinking that if you told the truth about what really went on in your family, a long bony white finger would emerge from a cloud and point to you, while a chilling voice thundered, "We *told* you not to tell." But that was then. Just put down on paper everything you can remember now about your parents and siblings and relatives and neighbors, and we will deal with libel later on. ↗

— Anne Lamott

#advice #childhood #getting-started #incest #memoir

He touched the screen as if trying to reach through with his hand. "You're a wonderful young lady. I don't tell you that often enough. You remind me so much of your mother. She'd be proud. And Grandpa Tom" --he chuckled-- "he always said you'd be the most powerful voice in our family. You're going to outshine me some day, you know. They're going to remember me as Piper McLean's father, and that's the best legacy I can imagine. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#girls #inspirational #touching #family

Your typical Six-year-old is a paradoxical little person, and bipolarity is the name of his game. ↗

— Louise Bates Ames

#children #family #parenting #family

He laughs. And in his laugh I hear bliss. I hear feet dancing, the rush of skirts twirling. The sound of children. Is that the first sign of love? You hear in the person you're destined to love the sound of those yet to be born. ↗

— Alyson Richman

#family #love #family

Lucy preferred gin and tonics during the summer and switched over to whiskey sours in the winter. At dinner, a sit-down affair with the family, Lucy drank whatever the Temerlins drank, including expensive French wines. "She never gets obnoxious, even when smashed to the brink of unconsciousness," wrote Maurice, revealing more about the chimp's alcoholism than perhaps he intended. At one point, he tried to wean Lucy off the good stuff and onto Boone's Farm apple wine. Assuming she would delight in the fruity swill, he purchased a case and filled her glass one night at dinner. Lucy took a sip of the apple wine, noticed her parents were drinking something else, and put her glass down. She then graabbed Maurice's glass of Chablis and polished it off. She finished Jane's next. Not another sip of Boone's farm ever touched her lips. ↗

— Elizabeth Hess

#chimpanzees #family