#christmas

It's like pretending to be Santa and then stabbing someone with a candy cane! ↗

— J.B. Stanley

#christmas #humor #murder #pretend #santa

Although it is pleasant to think about poison at any season, there is something special about Christmas, and I found myself grinning. ↗

— Alan Bradley

#holidays #humor #poison #humor

The only bright spot in the entire evening was the presence of Kevin "Tubby" Matchwell, the eleven-year-old porker who tackled the role of Santa with a beguiling authenticity. The false beard tended to muffle his speech, but they could hear his chafing thighs all the way to the North Pole. ↗

— David Sedaris

#christmas #humor #santa #humor

Yet as I read the birth stories about Jesus I cannot help but conclude that though the world may be tilted toward the rich and powerful, God is tilted toward the underdog. ↗

— Philip Yancey

#jesus-christ #underdog #christ

I knew that I had been partially right in the storeroom above the bar on Christmas Day. Whoever I had become had to die. ↗

— Craig Ferguson

#change #christmas #death #suicide #change

Everyone wants to feel loved, but when all you feel is alone it's tough to accomplish anything else. ↗

— Glenn Beck

#inspirational #inspirational

The Gingerbread House has four walls, a roof, a door, a window, and a chimney. It is decorated with many sweet culinary delights on the outside. But on the inside there is nothing—only the bare gingerbread walls. It is not a real house—not until you decide to add a Gingerbread Room. That’s when the stories can move in. They will stay in residence for as long as you abstain from taking the first gingerbread bite. ↗

— Vera Nazarian

#gingerbread #gingerbread-house #holiday #holidays #house

I think we need one recognized, respected public figure to make a tough, blunt statement on just what Reagan's record is and what he might do to the country, let alone the Republican Party before Christmas. ↗

— Robert Teeter

#before #blunt #christmas #country #figure

I love all things Christmas. ↗

— Samantha Barks

#christmas #i #i love #love #things

Unless we make Christmas an occasion to share our blessings, all the snow in Alaska won't make it 'white'. ↗

— Bing Crosby

#alaska #blessings #make #occasion #our