#christmas

Money's scarce Times are hard Here's your fucking Xmas card ↗

— Phyllis Diller

#humour #money

Its easier to feel a little more spiritual with a couple of bucks in your pocket. ↗

— Craig Ferguson

#money #spiritual #money

I had never before been a special fan of that great comedian Phyllis Diller, but she utterly won my heart this week by sending me an envelope that, when opened, contained a torn-off square of brown-bag paper of the kind suitable for latrine duty in an ill-run correctional facility. Duly unfurled, it carried a handwritten salutation reading as follows: Money's scarce Times are hard Here's your f****** Xmas card I could not possibly improve on the sentiment, but I don't think it ought to depend on the current austerities. Isn't Christmas a moral and aesthetic nightmare whether or not the days are prosperous? ↗

— Christopher Hitchens

#comedy #humour #phyllis-diller #money

How many observe Christ's birthday! How few, His precepts! ↗

— Benjamin Franklin

#christmas #religion #religion

In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went to church; the Jews called it 'Hanukkah' and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say 'Merry Christmas!' or 'Happy Hanukkah!' or (to the atheists) 'Look out for the wall! ↗

— Dave Barry

#hanukkah #holidays #christianity

Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before! What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more! ↗

— Dr. Seuss

#thought

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. ↗

— Shirley Temple

#asked #autograph #believing #claus #department

Christmas is the season for kindling the fire of hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart. ↗

— Washington Irving

#charity

'The Christmas Song,' by Nat King Cole, is not only a masterful performance; to me it just sounds like the holidays. I've never sung it, because Nat's version is so perfect. I gotta leave it alone. ↗

— Harry Connick, Jr.

#because #christmas #cole #gotta #holidays

So many people release albums before Christmas and they get lost in the Christmas rush. ↗

— Bonnie Tyler

#before #christmas #get #lost #many