#ck

I can smell the smoke now. I can see tendrils of it comin' up between the cracks in the shrikin' floorboards. There she is, calmly taking down the framed examples of fine embroideries, samplers, and needlework from teh hallway wall and tucking them under her arm. "Mistress! Come on! You've got to leave!" She calmly turns and faces me. "Why?" she asks. "The British are coming?" "Only one, Mistress," I say ↗

— L.A. Meyer

#british #humor #pirates #humor

ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith. ↗

— Ambrose Bierce

#blacksmith #clothing #humor #war #humor

Sadness isn't sadness. It's happiness in a black jacket. Tears are not tears. They're balls of laughter dipped in salt. Death is not death. It's life that's jumped off a tall cliff. ↗

— Paul McCartney

#death

Stand your ground!" Stheno yelled. "I've got free samples! ↗

— Rick Riordan

#euryale #gorgon #heroes-of-olympus #humor #medusa

Glitter and streamers of light swirled around us, and a chorus of tiny voices sang out a single note. I winced, knowing there was only one person who thought a normal entrance, like walking through a door, wasn’t good enough for her; she had to announce her presence with sparkle and glitter and St. Peter’s choir. ↗

— Julie Kagawa

#humor #magic #puck #humor

Peter! Were you looking for a horse-shoe?" "No; I was expecting the horse, but the shoe is a piece of pure, gorgeous luck." "And observation. I found it." "You did. And I could kiss you for it. You need not shrink and tremble. I am not going to do it. When I kiss you, it will be an important event -- one of those things which stand out among their surroundings like the first time you tasted li-chee. It will not be an unimportant sideshow attached to a detective investigation. ↗

— Dorothy L. Sayers

#horse-shoes #horses #humor #importance #kisses

That, they never could lay their heads upon their pillows; that, they could never tolerate the idea of their wives laying their heads upon their pillows; that, they could never endure the notion of their children laying their heads on their pillows; in short , that there never more could be , for them or theirs , any laying of heads upon pillows at all , unless the prisioner's head was taken off. The Attorney General during the trial of Mr. Darnay ↗

— Charles Dickens

#dickens #funny #heads #humor #funny

You know, if you're an American and you're born at this time in history especially, you're lucky. We all are. We won the world history Powerball lottery. ↗

— Bill Maher

#humor #luck #humor

She just threatened to throw the next man who shoots at you out the window. Megan is awake. She offered to help. God, Trent, what is it with you and women? ↗

— Kim Harrison

#into-the-woods #jenks #the-hollows #trent-kalamack #humor

The difference between a top-flight creative man and the hack is his ability to express powerful meanings indirectly. ↗

— Vance Packard

#between #creative #creative man #difference #express