#come

There is a moment of sheer panic when I realize that Paul's apartment overlooks the park... and is obviously more expensive than mine. ↗

— Patrick Bateman

#christian-bale #comedy #cult #dark-humor #mayhem

By the standards of a tourist strolling past looking for a quick lunch, the place was a dive. The sign on the window was small and easy to miss, and the antique feel of the place wasn't the prepackaged, old-shit-on-the-wall nostalgia that came with so many chain restaurants. The cafe was just old, and everything about it said old. But Jon liked it that way, if only because it kept the tourists away and spared him from hearing imported ignorance when there was plenty of local ignorance to go around. ↗

— Scott B. Pruden

#humorous-quotes #immaculate-deception #satire #science-fiction #science-fiction-comedy

For these beings, fall is ever the normal season, the only weather, there be no choice beyond. Where do they come from? The dust. Where do they go? The grave. Does blood stir their veins? No: the night wind. What ticks in their head? The worm. What speaks from their mouth? The toad. What sees from their eye? The snake. What hears with their ear? The abyss between the stars. They sift the human storm for souls, eat flesh of reason, fill tombs with sinners. They frenzy forth....Such are the autumn people. ↗

— Ray Bradbury

#something-wicked-this-way-comes #autumn

I'm just a man, not a hero. just a boy, who wants to sing this song. ↗

— Gerard Way

#song-lyrics #welcome-to-the-black-parade #lyrics

He didn't come out of my belly, but my God, I've made his bones, because I've attended to every meal, and how he sleeps, and the fact that he swims like a fish because I took him to the ocean. I'm so proud of all those things. But he is my biggest pride. ↗

— John Lennon

#because #belly #biggest #bones #come

Ms. Fang is the nicest, sweetest teacher at Scary School. She only ate twelve kids last year. ↗

— Derek The Ghost

#funny #horror #humor #scary #school

From Chloe's Secret--coming soon “What are you saying?” “I’m saying I want to have a relationship with you. I want to love you.” “Is there a ‘but’ coming next?” “But the funny thing is, when I didn’t want to love you—it happened anyway.” He slipped his arms into my back pockets and hugged the breath out of me. I choked, my eyes stung. “I don’t know what to say.” He smiled. “Say whatever you want to. Just because I said it, you don’t have to.” He was right; I didn’t have to. He wasn’t asking anything of me. ↗

— Shelley K. Wall

#fiction #romance #romantic-comedy #funny

Use a condom. The world doesn't need another you. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#condoms #humorous-comebacks #insult #humor

I have so much hate that it has turned into love. ↗

— Margaret Cho

#comedy #hate #humor #love #margaret

Are you all right?” he asked Olivia. His heart was still racing with terror that she’d been hurt. “I heard a woman scream.” “Ah, that would have been me,” Sebastian said. Harry looked down on his cousin, face frozen in disbelief. “You made that noise?” “It hurt,” Sebastian bit off. Harry fought not to laugh. “You scream like a leettle girl. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#cousins #humor #humor