#comedy

I started to crawl off; then I remembered my leftover pizza, and I peeled off the salami, pepperoni, and anchovies and placed them on the CD tray (whicn no one used these days with flash drives around)on Boone's computer. I hit the close button and watched the smelly part of my delicious dinner slide away. Boone would have a great time wondering 'where's that smell coming from? ↗

— Duffy Brown

#comedy #funny #humor #mystery #pizza

You're sure he's not a vampire?' Claire said.'I've seen movies. They're sneaky.' She was kidding. Eve didn't smile. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#mythical #humor

One does not have humor. It has you. ↗

— Larry Gelbart

#humor #humor

Ever since the robot was first invented, there have been people who swear up and down that this marks the first step towards the fall of man … To be fair, their arguments are backed with scientific fact taken from documentary films such as The Terminator, The Matrix, and RoboCop. ↗

— Weston Locher

#comedy #essay #funny #humor #funny

You took a bath without me?" I smiled to myself at the accusation in his voice. ↗

— Katie MacAlister

#bath #comedy #love #vampires #love

Phoebe doesn't quite believe in fate the way I do. She says you have to chase your destiny, and she always expects life to be like a romantic comedy: all you have to do is dress the part of the heroine, and pretty soon you'll be kissing some hottie while fountains spew and music swells in the background. ↗

— Lauren Morrill

#humor #romantic-comedy #humor

It wasn’t enough that I had to worry about playing well and winning the game, but I also had to deal with possibility that one of my teammates could be dragged off the field by the inhabitants of the mental hospital. ↗

— Weston Locher

#comedy #essays #funny #hilarious #humor

You can’t keep bitch-slapping your creativity, or it’ll run away and find a new pimp. ↗

— George Meyer

#creativity #humor #humor

Love is a two-way street constantly under construction. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#humor-relationships #love #romantic-comedy #romanticism #humor

Mankind is immortal in the comic perspective not by virtue of man's subjugation of nature but by virtue of man's subjection to it. The "fall" in tragedy ends in death; the fall in comedy ends in bed, where, by natures's arithmetic, one and one make a brand new one. ↗

— Rose A. Zimbardo

#literary-criticism #death