#comedy

I had never before been a special fan of that great comedian Phyllis Diller, but she utterly won my heart this week by sending me an envelope that, when opened, contained a torn-off square of brown-bag paper of the kind suitable for latrine duty in an ill-run correctional facility. Duly unfurled, it carried a handwritten salutation reading as follows: Money's scarce Times are hard Here's your f****** Xmas card I could not possibly improve on the sentiment, but I don't think it ought to depend on the current austerities. Isn't Christmas a moral and aesthetic nightmare whether or not the days are prosperous? ↗

— Christopher Hitchens

#comedy #humour #phyllis-diller #money

In Chestnut Hill money didn't talk, but it drank, and played a lot of golf. ↗

— Alistair McHarg

#dark-comedy #great-dialogue #humor #quirky-characters #social-satire

When people get into their 30s plus "boyfriend" sounds weird...if you really think about it. Instead, I think we should universally start using the term "manfriend" or "snookie bookie cuddles pie". ↗

— Michelle M. Pillow

#comedy #comedy-humor #humor #manfriend #nonsense

You can never talk religion on network TV. It makes too many people angry. You can talk about sex. ↗

— Craig Ferguson

#comedy #religion #sex #tv #religion

The hard core of morality and even of religion seems to me to be just what makes good comedy possible...Where there is no norm, nothing can be ridiculous, except for a brief moment of unbalanced provincialism in which we may laugh at the merely unfamiliar. Unless there is something about which the author is never ironical, there can be no true irony in the work. ↗

— C.S. Lewis

#humor #irony #morality #principles #writing

Good man and bad man with money goes a long ways." ~ Amunhotep El Bey ↗

— Amunhotep El Bey

#funny #funny-quotes #philosophical-quotations #philosophy #quote

Well, what do you know? Fakespeare! ↗

— Hillary DePiano

#commedia #parody #shakespeare #the-love-of-three-oranges #art

Is there anything else you need from me?" Ranger asked. "Not right now." "There will come a time," Ranger said. "Let me know when." And he disconnected. I opened the freezer and stuck my head in to cool off. If there'd been any more innuendo in that conversation, I could have fried an egg on my forehead. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#romantic

It’s not great when your husband thinks the only guy who can talk to you, is some other guy. ↗

— Jonas Eriksson

#comedy #hollywood #hollywood-culture #humor #romantic

What did Kevin Ye get arrested for anyway? Didn't he steal a car?" "He stole the driver's ed car." I laughed. Then I saw how Adam was looking at me. "He gave it back." "They MAKE you give stuff back, Lori, after they arrest you for stealing it. ↗

— Jennifer Echols

#adam-vader #boys-next-door #comedy #echols #endless-summer