#comedy

She didn't know what a goji berry was, but it sounded like something Amazonian tribesmen might eat when they wanted to talk to their ancestors and embark on an inner voyage into some sort of unicorn-infested netherworld. Whatever worked. ↗

— Lola Salt

#humour #romance #life

Life is like an insurance policy, no matter what happens there’s always a deductible clause. ↗

— EN Heim

#humor #laughs #life

Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know? ↗

— Chris Rock

#comedy #race #racism #society #love

If you don't want to tear off the clothes of the person you're on a date with and jump into bed with them, then what's the point? I'd never date; instead, I'd have lots of good friends and hug them a lot and life would be easier and neater and uncomplicated. ↗

— Rachel Machacek

#dating #humor #love #romance #dating

Build mutual friendships. Just be ready to end them when your friends start trying to eat you. ↗

— Jesse Petersen

#married-with-zombies #zombies #friendship

Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool, a comedy for the rich, a tragedy for the poor. ↗

— Sholom Aleichem

#comedy #dream #fool #game #life is a

[T]he most comic things of all are exactly the things most worth doing--such as making love. ↗

— G.K. Chesterton

#love #love

I ground my teeth. "Just when I thought I was getting a handle on this whole Dark One/demon lord/imp thing, you go and throw knockers into the mix. I'm going to have to request that you stop, Adrian. I'm about at my limit of how many impossible things I can believe before breakfast." He flashed a heart-stoppingly roguish grin at me, his dimples just about bringing me to my knees. "Your middle name wouldn't be Alice, would it?" he asked. "No, it's Diane, and you're no White Rabbit, so let's just stop pretending we're in Wonderland, OK?" He laughed and pointed across the tiny square at our destination. I watched him for a moment, seeing a glimpse of the charming, charismatic man he must have been before the demon lord cursed him and leeched away all the softer emotions. ↗

— Katie MacAlister

#comedy #limit #love #rabbit-hole #vampires

What's happened is somewhere, along the line, as a society, we confused the notion of 'home' with the possibility of 'an investment opportunity'. What kind of creature wants to live in an 'investment opportunity'? Only man. The fox has his den. The bee has his hive. The stoat, has, uh... his stoat-hole... but only man chooses to make his nest in an investment opportunity. Mmm, snuggled down in the lovely credit! All warm, in the mortgage payment, mmmmm... ↗

— Stewart Lee

#gfc #humour #love

Everyone has a secret. ↗

— Kristine Cuevas

#humor #love #romance #romantic-comedy #love