#comedy

Life is like an insurance policy, no matter what happens there’s always a deductible clause. ↗

— EN Heim

#humor #laughs #life

Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know? ↗

— Chris Rock

#comedy #race #racism #society #love

If you don't want to tear off the clothes of the person you're on a date with and jump into bed with them, then what's the point? I'd never date; instead, I'd have lots of good friends and hug them a lot and life would be easier and neater and uncomplicated. ↗

— Rachel Machacek

#dating #humor #love #romance #dating

Build mutual friendships. Just be ready to end them when your friends start trying to eat you. ↗

— Jesse Petersen

#married-with-zombies #zombies #friendship

Everyone has a secret. ↗

— Kristine Cuevas

#humor #love #romance #romantic-comedy #love

In Chestnut Hill money didn't talk, but it drank, and played a lot of golf. ↗

— Alistair McHarg

#dark-comedy #great-dialogue #humor #quirky-characters #social-satire

When people get into their 30s plus "boyfriend" sounds weird...if you really think about it. Instead, I think we should universally start using the term "manfriend" or "snookie bookie cuddles pie". ↗

— Michelle M. Pillow

#comedy #comedy-humor #humor #manfriend #nonsense

You can never talk religion on network TV. It makes too many people angry. You can talk about sex. ↗

— Craig Ferguson

#comedy #religion #sex #tv #religion

Is there anything else you need from me?" Ranger asked. "Not right now." "There will come a time," Ranger said. "Let me know when." And he disconnected. I opened the freezer and stuck my head in to cool off. If there'd been any more innuendo in that conversation, I could have fried an egg on my forehead. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#romantic

It’s not great when your husband thinks the only guy who can talk to you, is some other guy. ↗

— Jonas Eriksson

#comedy #hollywood #hollywood-culture #humor #romantic