#comical

Assumptions are unopened windows that foolish birds fly into, and their broken bodies are evidence gathered too late. ↗

— Bryan Davis

#blunt #comical #funny #harsh #irony

Girls are always complaining that they can never meet a nice guy. Nice guys are everywhere. The problem isn’t that there aren't any nice guys, the problem is that all of the nice guys are ugly. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#funny-as-hell #funny-but-sad #funny-but-true #funny-humor #hilarious

One should never give up on hope. Unless that's the name of the girl who cheated on you in which case, yeah, give her up. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#comedy-humor #comical #funny #funny-humor #humor

Stark raving mad. ↗

— Stieg Larsson

#inspirational #inspirational

I cannot, I cannot,' cried Marianne; 'leave me, leave me, if I distress you; leave me, hate me, forget me! But do not torture me so. Oh! how easy for those who have no sorrow of their own to talk of extertion! ↗

— Jane Austen

#comical #distress #love #torture #anger

The world has held great Heroes, As history-books have showed; But never a name to go down to fame Compared with that of Toad The clever men at Oxford Know all that there is to be knowed. But they none of them knew one half as much As intelligent Mr Toad! The animals sat in the Ark and cried, Their tears in torrents flowed. Who was it said, “There’s land ahead?” Encouraging Mr Toad! The Army all saluted As they marched along the road. Was it the King? Or Kitchener? No. It was Mr Toad! The Queen and her Ladies-in-waiting Sat at the window and sewed. She cried, “Look! who’s that handsome man?” They answered, “Mr Toad. ↗

— Kenneth Grahame

#toad #intelligence

I was beginning to think that Simon just had a bad case of OCD, ADD, and PMS. With a little BS and OMG mixed in. ↗

— Dannika Dark

#bs #character #comical #dannika-dark #funny