#cs

Some people believe in imaginary friends. I believe in imaginary numbers. ↗

— R.M. ArceJaeger

#math #mathematics #humor

I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. ↗

— Ronald Reagan

#humor #napping #politics #humor

Arthur: If I asked you where the hell we were, would I regret it? Ford: We're safe. Arthur: Oh good. Ford: We're in a small galley cabin in one of the spaceships of the Vogon Constructor Fleet. Arthur: Ah, this is obviously some strange use of the word safe that I wasn't previously aware of. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#semantics #humor

Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic. ↗

— Woody Allen

#humor #physics #religion #humor

I’m on a government watch list. But I’m not interested, because government watches only work twenty minutes out of every hour.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#efficiency #entitled #entitlement #funny #government

Last night I dreamt that somebody loved me. No hope, no harm; just another false alarm ↗

— Morrissey

#lyrics #music #humor

Disappointment came to me, and booted me, and bruised and hurt me, but that's how people grow up. ↗

— Morrissey

#life #lyrics #music #humor

Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book. ↗

— Ronald Reagan

#bad #book #disgrace #many #politics

I can chase you, and I can catch you, but there is nothing I can do to make you mine. ↗

— Morrissey

#life #love #lyrics #music #humor

You're not right in the head, and nor am I, and this is why....this is why I like you. ↗

— Morrissey

#lyrics #music #humor