#d

For a long time Cool Girl offended me. I used to see men--friends, coworkers, strangers--giddy over these awful pretender women, and I'd want to sit these men down and calmly say: You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men who'd like them to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them. I'd want to grab the poor guy by his lapels or messenger bag and say: The bitch doesn't really love chili dogs that much--no one loves chili dogs that much! ↗

— Gillian Flynn

#cool-girl #dating

I know some women go in for excitement and danger. It must make them feel more alive. It's my professional judgment that you're a dangerous man. ↗

— Margaret Way

#dating #dating

You know how you have a good meal and you got gravy left on the plate. The gravy was so good that you don’t want to leave it on the plate but you don’t want to be a pig about it? So you take your bread and use it to sop up the rest of the gravy. That guy is totally soppable! ↗

— Erin Jamison

#girlfriends #online-dating #sexy-men #dating

Yes, I am of old family, and not illiterate. I am a fossil."   "A which?"   "Fossil. The first horses were fossils. They date back two million years. ↗

— Mark Twain

#dating

I'm dating myself, but this was before Jesus Christ. We worshiped a God named Sashatiba, who had five eyes, including one on the Adam's apple. ↗

— David Sedaris

#religion #dating

We've decided that your birthday present will be a car", said Marion. Danny was touched. "But the thing I can't figure out is, why would I need a new car?" "You can't very well gate a girl to the movies, Danny," Leslie replied. "I think you're overlooking the biggest point here," said Danny. "I don't need a CAR so I can date. I need a GIRL. ↗

— Orson Scott Card

#the-lost-gate #dating

I wanted to puke, and from the intense paint stench that was assaulting my nasal passages. Sage wanted Gaberot, Not Tucker, not Joe, but Gabe. It was all too gross to contemplate. So of course my brain couldn't stop contemplating it. Sage and Gabe-rot sitting in the tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G! We worked in silence for a few minutes while I fumed. How could she grill me about Gabe when she was already dating Mr.Perfect? If only Daniel were here to hear all of this instead of sitting back at SDH oblivious. "So are you and Gabe, like close?" Sage asked. Ugh! "Very close," I said, tilting my head to one side,"Incestuous,actually. He's a fabulous kisser. ↗

— Kieran Scott

#funny-as-hell #dating

Polly was a writer of many deadlines. There were the ignorable deadlines, the not-to-be-taken-too-seriously deadlines: the deadlines-before-the-deadlines deadlines, and finally, the no-kidding-around deadlines. She set these various dates, she'd told him, to fool herself. ↗

— Martha Grimes

#dating

So, the date was on. I’d tell Zayvion I had a chaperone. Maybe he could help me figure it out. ↗

— Devon Monk

#dating

There is love in holding and there is love in letting go. ↗

— Elizabeth Berg

#love #separation #death