#d

All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring. ↗

— Chuck Palahniuk

#does #ever #get #god #kill

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe. ↗

— Albert Einstein

#human-nature #humor #infinity #philosophy #science

Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results. ↗

— Narcotics Anonymous

#insanity #life #misattributed-albert-einstein #humor

Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away. ↗

— Paul Terry

#humor #laziness #misattributed-to-hutchins #humor

Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company. ↗

— Mark Twain

#humor #misattributed #philosophy #theology #humor

The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept. ↗

— George Carlin

#insanity #lies #lying #self-indulgence #truth

Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources ↗

— Albert Einstein

#humor #misattributed #humor

Every now and then I like to do as I'm told, just to confuse people. ↗

— Tamora Pierce

#obedience #humor

I like that kind of frantic schedule. It makes me feel like I have a purpose. ↗

— Sara Gilbert

#frantic #i #kind #like #makes

But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most? ↗

— Mark Twain

#common #eighteen #had #humanity #most