#dating

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single girl of high standing at Longbourn Academy must be in want of a prom date. ↗

— Elizabeth Eulberg

#humor #paraphrased #parody #dating

Most of the funeral stuff is going to be done during daylight hours,” I said. “I’m not even going to be able to attend the burial. Humans get upset when vampires burst into flames right next to them. ↗

— Molly Harper

#humor #vampire #dating

Fuck my cousin, it's got nothing to do with my cousin for me. If you were alone, I'd still be right on this carpet, on my knees, wanting to be with you. If you were mated to a female, if you were dating someone all casual and shit, if you were in a million different places in life … I’d still be right here. Begging you for something, anything one time, if that’s all you’ve got. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#lover-at-last #qhuinn #dating

Why?" "Because...because he's so tall," Mindy explained, like height was proof of good character. "And did I mention European?" "Yes. It's so much better to be stalked by a tall European that an American of average height. ↗

— Beth Fantaskey

#dating

I went on a blind date last night. We watched a silent film. We stayed up all night talking in sign language. I fell asleep in the fetal position in her cat's litter box. Ah, 'twas a great night. I'll never forget dancing with an albino under the stars. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#blind-date #cats #dancing #date #dating

A 5’5”, 182-pound, 43-year-old man wearing khaki shorts and a UCLA sweatshirt runs to Nicolas Cage in a manner he will spend the rest of the night describing to his slightly bored but equally boring date as “ambushing.” No one else is on the street and Nicolas Cage is unable to avoid the man, who wants a picture with his “brand new Droid.” As the man, who actually seems to be vibrating and hovering in an almost hummingbird-like way, adjusts his stance for the third attempt at a picture his crotch lightly brushes Nicolas Cage’s upper thigh, causing his face to shift from “bemused resignation” to, strangely, “serene bliss,” for what will become the man’s inaugural Facebook profile picture. ↗

— Megan Boyle

#dating

People always sounded worried when I called them. Maybe because I only ever called a lot of them when I was in trouble and needed help. I needed to set up more lunch dates or have more parties, to cure people of the idea that a call from me automatically equaled danger. Then again, that was probably a lost cause. ↗

— Carrie Vaughn

#dating

What does time have to do with anything? When two people have that kind of connection and you both can relate and help each other, like I know you both do now… who the hell cares about how long you’ve been dating? I say, when you know, you know. ↗

— Loni Flowers

#dating

This world is out of date ↗

— Kamila Shamsie

#time #world #dating

He was the kind of boy any young girl should date while she's still able to recover. ↗

— Chuck Palahniuk

#girl #rant #dating