#de

This was our last night. We only had one curtain call, Bree. And I thought they were going to give us a standing ovation, but no-o-o-. Do you know why half the audience stood up?" "To get a head start on the traffic," Bree said. "To get a head start on the traffic," Antonia agreed in indignation. "I mean, here we are, dancing and singing our little guts out, and all those folks want to do is get to bed early. I ask you, whatever happened to common courtesy? Whatever happened to decent manners? Doesn't anyone care about craft anymore? And on top of that, it's not even nice. ↗

— Mary Stanton

#disappointment #expectations #humor #performance #play

She gave me another of those long keen looks, and I could see that she was again asking herself if her favourite nephew wasn't steeped to the tonsils in the juice of the grape. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#humorous #wodehouse #humor

As a confirmed melancholic, I can testify that the best and maybe only antidote for melancholia is action. However, like most melancholics, I suffer also from sloth. ↗

— Edward Abbey

#cures #depression #depression-humor #modern-life #humor

Mrs. Palmer is a teacher so naturally I assumed she would never do anything good for me. ↗

— Jim Benton

#diary #dumb #humor #teacher #humor

It was no mean trick doing the wiring with those mittens on. But I managed it and crawled out, batting spiders into the shadows. I could hear a thud as they hit the floor joists, then a scuttling sound, then, worst of all, the silence of spiders. ↗

— Bailey White

#spiders #humor

Unsere Landschaft ist nicht so dramatisch wie die Alpen, aber ausreichend dramatisch. Das Wasser in unserem See ist nicht so warm wie auf den Malediven, aber ausreichend warm. Die Bären in unseren Wäldern sind nicht so groß wie in Alaska, aber ausreichend groß." Solche Werbung gibt es wohl wirklich nur in Schweden. Dem Land, wo die Königsfamilie nicht so königlich ist wie in Windsor, aber ausreichend königlich. ↗

— Gunnar Herrmann

#lagom #sweden #humor

Most investigators don't even know what the word means. You stop the cops from using informants and the only crimes they'd ever solve would be those by deranged postal workers who come to work once too often. ↗

— Andrew Vachss

#humor #private-detective #humor

The day my child tries a celery is the most stressful day of my life. ↗

— Ariana Grande

#funny #humor #laugh #funny

Suddenly, I saw ocean again—then another horizon line—but this time the deep blue sky was on the wrong side of the line…the Holy crap, we’re upside down side. ↗

— M.A. George

#humor #paranormal-romance #upside-down #humor

These cities grew in approximately the same places as our cities do now, however different the shape of the continents was. There was even a New York that in some way resembled the New York familiar to all of you, but was much newer, or, rather, more awash with new products, new toothbrushes, a New York with its own Manhattan that stretched out dense with skyscrapers gleaming like the nylon bristles of a brand-new toothbrush. ↗

— Italo Calvino

#humor #surreal #humor