#de

A man without debts is a man without anything to live for. Debt is collateral for life. It provides you with obligations to others, gives you duty, gives you purpose: the purpose to protect those possessions which you would not otherwise have without your debt. Debt is the most responsible way to elevate your social position. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #life #responsibility #funny

Is this some kind of joke?" "That's for me to know and you to find out." "Maybe you think it's funny to put up signs about people who want to commit suicide." "Are you about to?" "And what if I was?" "I wouldn't tell you the gorgeous reasons I have discovered for going on living." "What would you do?" "I'd ask you to name the rock-bottom price you'd charge to go on living for just one more week. ↗

— Kurt Vonnegut

#funny

Pleased to meet you," Tellin says, shaking me out of my reverie. "Lily told me much about you last weekend." "Funny." Quince throws me a questioning glance. "She didn't mention you at all. ↗

— Tera Lynn Childs

#fins-are-forever #lily #lily-sanderson #mer-people #mermaid

Our eyes met from across the street. She was wrapped in the Earth’s mantle; I was shrouded in the cloak of heaven. Together our indecent exposure echoed through the air. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #indecent-exposure #random #funny

It was like watching an angsty hormone-fueled train wreck and firmly cemented my resolve to be at least twenty-five before I considered getting hitched. ↗

— Stacey Jay

#funny #funny

... a man doesn't like to have his ego popped, especially when he prides himself on his sagacity, and then to be proved wrong by a man who claims he doesn't know anything. ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#dark-humor #ego #egotism #egotist #funny

But if it matters to you, you'll be able to choose Gryffindor over Slytherin. The Sorting Hat takes your choice into account." "Really?" "It did for me," said Harry. He had never told any of his children that before, and he saw the wonder in Albus's face when he said it. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#death

We'll meet you here. Hopefully everyone will be in human form." A wry smile. "Though I'll warn you, he's not a whole lot more pleasant that way. At least as a wolf, he can't talk. ↗

— Kelley Armstrong

#derek-rydall #funny #funny

We didn’t-?” I whisper, my mouth drying in mortified horror as I can’t complete the question. I stare at my hands. “Anastasia, you were comatose. Necrophilia is not my thing. I like my women sentient and receptive,” he says dryly. ↗

— E.L. James

#anastasia #anastasia-steele #christian #christian-grey #e-l-james

It's because I'm pregnant, Christian." He snorts, and his mouth twists into an ironic smile. "If I knew getting you knocked up was going to make you eat, I might have done it earlier. ↗

— E.L. James

#anastasia-grey #anastasia-steele #christian #christian-grey #e-l-james