#do

External freedom has probably never existed, but neither have I ever known anyone who knew inner freedom. ↗

— Marlen Haushofer

#freedom

I didn’t know if I could stop her with one blow. But I could whack the crap out of her. ↗

— Rachel Vincent

#funny

What do you want? Where's the goddamn ice I ordered? Where's the booze? There's a war on, man! People are being killed! ↗

— Hunter S. Thompson

#crazy #drugs #funny #random #funny

Go slowly, so that you do not bite your tail by accident. ↗

— Christopher Paolini

#truth #wisdom #funny

More freedom means more jobs... less government and less taxes. ↗

— Todd Akin

#freedom means #government #jobs #less #means

We made up, and I knew just how to do that. I told her, “I feel like dancing. Let me grab my dancing shoes and stick-on mustache (better to tickle your vagina with).” And she replied, “My vagina already has its own mustache. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#random #funny

I want someone to follow me through life and organize the material enough to make it watchable. It will be a lot harder than writing an autobiography, since I'll have to convey my introspection by looking really good. ↗

— Bauvard

#documentary #entertainment #funny #humor #life

EAT SANDWICH, NOT OWN MOUTH. ↗

— Lauren Conrad

#humor #funny

The doctor's wife ate two apples a day, just to be safe. But her husband kept coming home. ↗

— Joseph Gordon-Levitt

#doctor #funny #pun #wife #funny

A brick can be used to represent the zero probability of this book being any good. ↗

— Amy Summers

#brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny #humor