#ed

It's sometimes funny to watch some people doing something the wrong way but doing it confidently. Even more funny, they succeeded. ↗

— Toba Beta

#fun #funny #succeeded #watch #watching

I want to have breasts the size of Florida, so that people might see me at Ponte Vedra beach and gasp, “Look at the size of his Naples! ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#florida #funny #naples #ponte-vedra #funny

It's sick and twisted and violent. Other than that it is totally G rated. ↗

— Elizabeth Cruickshank

#funny #oxymoron #sick #twisted #vioolence

Yesterday, at the company party, I made a joke and everyone laughed and said, “Hey, now there’s the Jarod Kintz we all know and love.” and I smiled, but inside I thought, “Actually, the Jarod Kintz you know and love was my clone, who I had to murder because he kept eating all my leftovers. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#clones #funny #humor #laughed #murder

I like how you don't hide your problems like everyone else, and I don't have to hide mine when I'm around you. ↗

— Ned Vizzini

#its-kind-of-a-funny-story #ned-vizinni #funny

Giving style” to one’s character - a great and rare art! It is exercised by those who see all the strengths and weaknesses of their own natures and then comprehend them in an artistic plan until everything appears as art and reason and even weakness delights the eye. ↗

— Friedrich Nietzsche

#courage #individuality #nonconformity #self-freedom #truth-to-self

You've done what?" "I know," he said. "You're impressed. You send me out for bread and I come back with a boy. Well, not literally. That would be weird. Even for me. ↗

— Derek Landy

#humour #kingdom-of-the-wicked #skulduggery #valykrie #funny

And it's funny how when somebody saves you, the first thing you want to do is save other people. All other people. Everybody. The kid never knew the man's name. But he never forgot that smile. "Hero" isn't the first word, but it's the first word that comes to mind. ↗

— Chuck Palahniuk

#save #saved #saving #funny

If I could sew comedy and philosophy together, then I've done a good job. The primary goal is always going to be laughs and the secondary goal is always going to be saying something without it being a lecture. ↗

— Hal Sparks

#being #comedy #could #done #goal

Someone needs to remind American CEOs that if you can't run a company that is innovative, financially sound and doesn't poison the rest of us, You can't run a company. ↗

— Hal Sparks

#ceos #company #financially #innovative #needs