#skulduggery

Scapegrace leaped up. “I am the Killer Supreme! I make murder into an art form!” Skulduggery hit him again and Scapegrace did a little twirl before falling. ↗

— Derek Landy

#scapegrace #skulduggery #twirl #art

Valkyrie made a face. "Bloody vampires." Ryan sat forward. "That was a vampire? That guy who looked like an accountant?" "We don't talk about vampires," Skulduggery warned. "But it was daytime. How could he have been out during the-" "We don't talk about vampires!" Valkyrie said sharply. Ryan shrunk back. "Sorry," he said. "Don't worry about it," Skulduggery told him. "Valkyrie used to date a vampire that's all." "We didn't date ," Valkyrie said immediately. Skulduggery held a hand up. "I'm not judging." Valkyrie scowled. ↗

— Derek Landy

#ryan #skulduggery-pleasant #valkyrie-cain #vampires #dating

The sparrow flies south for the winter. ↗

— Derek Landy

#death

Look, this is all very, very weird. Why are you focusing on rumours and urban legends? You haven’t even asked me any normal questions.” “Normal questions? Like what?” “Like, I don’t know, like if Lynch had any enemies.” “Did Lynch have any enemies?” “Well, not that I know of, no.” “Then there really was no point in me asking that, was there? Unless you wanted to distract me. You didn’t want to distract me, did you, Kenny?” “No, that’s not—” “Are you playing a game with me, Kenny?” “I don’t know what you’re—” Inspector Me leaned forward. “Did you kill him?” “No!” “It’d be OK if you did.” Kenny recoiled, horrified. “How would that be OK?” “Well,” Me said, “maybe not ↗

— Derek Landy

#normal #skulduggery-pleasant #urban-legends #weird #death

Of course I want to kill you," said Skulduggery. "I want to kill most people. But then where would I be? In a field of dead people with no one to talk to. ↗

— Derek Landy

#death #dialogue #field #humour #nobody-to-talk-to

Oh, escape is easy once you have the right plan.' 'Do we have the right plan?' 'Not yet.' 'Do we have any plan?' 'Not yet. ↗

— Derek Landy

#death

Fletcher appeared beside her. He peered at the baby. "Can it do any tricks yet?" "I'm still working on it. Want to hold her?" "God, no," Fletcher said laughing. "I'd drop it." "It's not an it, it's my baby sister. Go on, hold her. You won't make a mess of it, i swear. Only an idiot could drop a baby." "You always say I am an idiot." "But you're a special kind of idiot. Here." She passed Alice into his arms, and he stood there, rigid, a look of intense concentration on his face. ↗

— Derek Landy

#derek-landy #idiots #skulduggery-pleasant #death

I am a rational man, but haven't you heard? i'm also insane. It gives me a unique perspective on things. ↗

— Derek Landy

#death

Can I just point something out?" Fletcher asked. "That is an awful plan. On a scale of one to ten - the Trojan War being a ten and General Custer verus all those Indians being a one - your plan is a zero. I don't think it is a plan at all. I think it's just a series of happenings that are, to be honest, unlikely to follow on from each other in the way in which everyone's probably hoping." "Do you have a better plan?" Valkyrie asked. "Of course not. I'm a man of action, not thought." Valkyrie nodded. "You're defintely not a man of thought." "Why are you in charge anyway? What do you know about organising something like this?" "I have faith," Tanith said. "As do I," said Ghastly. Valkyrie smiled at them gratefully. "So you think the plan will work?" "God, no," said Ghastly. "Sorry, Val," said Tanith ↗

— Derek Landy

#skulduggery-pleasant #valkyrie-cain #faith

If things go wrong, I'll lead them away. Once it's clear, get back to the car. If you don't see me in five minutes, then I've probably died a very brave and heroic death. Oh and don't Oh, and don't touch the radio--I've got it tuned right where I want it and I don't want you messing that up. ↗

— Derek Landy

#pleasant #radio #skulduggery #death