#ed

No matter how popular you are as a stand-up - you can go out and fill a 10,000-seat arena and be smart and funny - it's delicate to host an awards show and know where your place is and know that it's not about you, that it's about the people who are nominated, and respect that, but at the same time have your moment to show them who you are. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#arena #awards #delicate #fill #funny

People are constantly asking Portia and me if we are going to have children. We thought about it. We love to be around children after they've been fed and bathed. But we ultimately decided that we don't want children of our own. There is far too much glass in our house. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#after #around #asking #bathed #been

The only thing I really recommend, if you're starting out in stand-up is to not try to copy anybody else. You can be influenced by people. I was influenced by Steve Martin and Bob Newhart and Woody Allen, but I never tried to be someone else. I always tried to be myself. And the reason people are successful is they're unique. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#always #anybody #bob #copy #else

While I was doing stand-up, I thought I knew for sure that success meant getting everyone to like me. So I became whoever I thought people wanted me to be. I'd say yes when I wanted to say no, and I even wore a few dresses. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#doing #dresses #even #everyone #few

Men with secrets tend to be drawn to each other, not because they want to share what they know but because they need the company of the like-minded, the fellow afflicted. ↗

— Don DeLillo

#because #company #drawn #each #fellow

I guess I had it made. My mother gave me advice - she taught me that women like to be looked in the eye - and my grandmother gave me condoms. ↗

— Usher

#condoms #eye #gave #grandmother #guess

The fleet sailed to its war base in the North Sea, headed not so much for some rendezvous with glory as for rendezvous with discretion. ↗

— Barbara Tuchman

#base #discretion #fleet #glory #headed

The best proof of the high quality of American beef is the continued negative BSE findings supported by the highest surveillance possible. The administration should be working to increase our surveillance of BSE, not scaling it back. ↗

— Rosa DeLauro

#american #back #beef #best #bse

A Catholic is raised with the idea that he will die any minute now and if he doesn't live his life in a certain way, this death is an introduction to an eternity of pain. ↗

— Don DeLillo

#catholic #certain #certain way #death #die

I embarked on my life - I didn't do anything. I don't have an explanation. ↗

— Don DeLillo

#embarked #explanation #i #life #my life