#end

Pleasure, I remind myself, is inseparable from its lawfully wedded mate, pain. ↗

— T.C. Boyle

#friend-of-the-earth #love #pain #pleasure #ty

I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#humor

I ejaculated about ten minutes ago and the stuff was black. So everything is not normal." Silence greeted that happy little announcement. Man, if he had hauled off and sucker-punched V, he would have gotten less of a shocked-out reaction. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#friendships #humor #sex #friendship

Woah,' I said, blocking the doorway. 'You can't come in here. This is the girls' room.' Even as it came out of my mouth, I knew it sounded dumb. Dumb, I thought and maybe even wrong. You...are a boy, aren't you?' I asked. 'I mean, don't take that the wrong way or anything -' J.Lo is a boy, yes.' I let that go. So...you Boov have boys and girls...just like us?' Of course,' said J.Lo. 'Do not be ridicumlous.' I smiled a wan little smile. 'Sorry.' The Boov have seven magnificent genders. There is boy, girl, girlboy, boygirl, boyboy, boyboygirl, and boyboyboyboy.' I had absolutely no response to this. ↗

— Adam Rex

#gender #humor #politeness #humor

You'd tell the world what your best friend wore to sleep if you thought it made a good enough story. ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#humor #story #humor

Love is like the human appendix. You take it for granted while it's there, but when it's suddenly gone you're forced to endure horrible pain that can only be alleviated through drugs. ↗

— Reverend Jen

#drugs #humor #love #simile #humor

Here's to our enduring sisterhood. May it bind us together more tightly that the Lycra in my Spanx underpants. ↗

— Susan McBride

#humor #humor

If it winds up earlier, you should have a movie picked out. This is assuming she isn’t sending you the ‘let’s go back to my place’ signals. In that case—” “Don’t go there, Bob. Let’s just not go there. ↗

— Nora Roberts

#friendships #funny #humor #friendship

Have you ever noticed that idiots have a lot of friends? It's just an observation. ↗

— Markus Zusak

#humor #idiots #humor

If somebody tells me what to do, I will do my best not to do it. ↗

— Hiroko Sakai

#funny #humorous #independence #funny