#er

I wish I could play little league now. I'd be way better than before. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#better #could #i #i wish #league

I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#fingers #i #i can #whistle

I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#four #get #good #i #like

I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#cord #go #hear #hold #i

I never read a self-help book except for the Bible. ↗

— Jon Heder

#book #except #i #never #read

I relate to most of the characters I play, because I do feel like an outsider. ↗

— Jon Heder

#characters #feel #i #i do #like

I want to get up there and tell entertaining stories but that are also to a certain extent clean. ↗

— Jon Heder

#certain #certain extent #clean #entertaining #extent

Normally I avoid movies where the aliens look like humans. It's cheesy. ↗

— Jon Heder

#cheesy #humans #i #like #look

When I was young, I told my sister that she had chunky thighs. She slapped me and I cried. She feels bad about it to this day, but I feel worse. ↗

— Jon Heder

#bad #cried #day #feel #feels

My ambition is to do a good job. I never plan anything. ↗

— Ilie Nastase

#anything #good #good job #i #job