#ex

I ran three miles, staggered into the lobby, and took the elevator back to my apartment. No point to overdoing this exercise junk. --Stephanie Plum ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#exercise #humor #plum #stephanie-plum #humor

Man...heats up like a lightbulb: red hot in the twinkling of an eye and cold again in a flash. The female, on the other hand...heats up like an iron. Slowly, over a low heat, like tasty stew. But then, once she has heated up, there's no stopping her. ↗

— Carlos Ruiz Zafón

#love #men #sex #women #humor

Isabelle snorted, "All the boys are guy. In this truck, anyway. Well, not you, Simon." "You noticed," said Simon. "I think of myself as a freewheeling bisexual," added Magnus. "Please never say those words in front of my parents," said Alec. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#bisexual #cassandra-clare #city-of-lost-souls #funny #gay

There is no unthreatened, unthreatening conceptual home for the concept of gay origins. We have all the more reason, then, to keep our understanding of gay origin, of gay cultural and material reproduction, plural, multi-capillaried, argus-eyed, respectful, and endlessly cherished. ↗

— Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick

#queerness #home

Because baby, I'm wild pussy and wild pussy can't be bought. Wild pussy doesn't like having pretty things thrown at it and being expected to do the samba on someone's cock in return. Wild pussy doesn't do deals. Wild pussy lives free and for itself and takes it however it likes it; on a bed, on a couch, on the hood of a car, in a bathroom stall or up against a wall in an alleyway and it laughs the entire time. I've known you for a while now Chase. I know you've never had wild pussy and I know you never will. Wild pussy doesn't fuck uptight cock. And it sure as hell doesn't like silk boxers ↗

— Madeline Sheehan

#humor #sex #humor

Fuck! Is one expected to be a gentleman when one is stiff? ↗

— Marquis de Sade

#sadism #sex #humor

The best sex takes place in the mind first ↗

— Jenna Jameson

#mindfulness #sex #love

They were beyond the present, outside time, with no memories and no future. There was nothing but obliterating sensation, thrilling and swelling, and the sound of fabric on fabric and skin on fabric as their limbs slid across each other in this restless, sensuous wrestling. ... They moved closer, deeper and then, for seconds on end, everything stopped. Instead of an ecstatic frenzy, there was stillness. They were stilled not by the astonishing fact of arrival, but by an awed sense of return - they were face to face in the gloom, staring into what little they could see of each other's eyes, and now it was the impersonal that dropped away. ↗

— Ian Mcewan

#sex #love

If you didn't grow up like I did then you don't know, and if you don't know it's probably better you don't judge. ↗

— Junot Díaz

#growing-up #humor #judgment #knowing #experience

I'm a happy person. If you want to be around me, you can either choose to be happy too, or follow the signs to the nearest exit! ↗

— Sharon Swan

#funny #happiness #happy #humor #funny