#fat

Why?" She asked in a confused whisper. "Out of all the women in the world, why did you choose this mortal?" "Because fate drove me to you. ↗

— Charlotte Featherstone

#fate #love #relationships #love

America used to live by the motto "Father Knows Best." Now we're lucky if "Father Knows He Has Children." We've become a nation of sperm donors and baby daddies. ↗

— Stephen Colbert

#children #fathers #funny #humor #funny

Certain is it that there is no kind of affection so purely angelic as of a father to a daughter. In love to our wives there is desire; to our sons, ambition, but to our daughters there is something which there are no words to express. ↗

— Joseph Addison

#father #love

One does silly things when one is twelve. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#infatuation #love #silly #youth #love

My dad told me that when I was born my cheeks were so fat the doctors didn't know which end to spank. ↗

— Sean Covey

#humor #humor

The guys can't take their eyes off Colleen... one of them... probably sees her just like I do, she's the gatekeeper to another world. ↗

— Ron Koertge

#infatuation #puppy-love #teenage-life #young-adult #life

New rules. If you are smart enough to live, you won’t hit Charles’s mate in front of his father. ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#anna-cornick #bran-cornick #charles-cornick #cry-wolf #defense

Michael: Barzini will set me up through somebody close... that, supposedly, I won't suspect. Hagen: Somebody like me. Michael: You're Irish, they won't trust you. Hagen: I'm German-American. Michael: To them that's Irish. ↗

— Mario Puzo

#michael-corleone #the-godfather #tom-hagen #humor

It did not look like the work of God, but it might have represented the handicraft of a God with a joyous sense of humor, a dancing God who loved mischief as much as prayer, and playfulness as much as mischief. ↗

— Pat Conroy

#god #humor

I have a sense that God is unfair and preferentially punishes his weak, his dumb, his fat, his lazy. I believe he takes more pleasure in his perfect creatures, and cheers them on like a brainless dad as they run roughshod over the rest of us. He gives us a need for love, and no way to get any. He gives us a desire to be liked, and personal attributes that make us utterly unlikable. Having placed his flawed and needy children in a world of exacting specifications, he deducts the difference between what we have and what we need from our hearts and our self-esteem and our mental health. ↗

— George Saunders

#cruelty #dumb #fat #god #lazy