#fe

But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams. ↗

— William Butler Yeats

#being #dreams #feet #i #only

Before going home with a guy, give him a blow job. Guys are always more relaxed after a blow job. (You're totally welcome, guys. P.S. Girls can't see this sentence!!!!!) ↗

— Eugene Mirman

#humor #oral-sex #sex #humor

Bob poured and brought two cups over, hardly rattling them on the saucers. "Drink up. This should restore your inner bitch." Bailey scowled at him. "See?" he said. "It's working already, and all you've had is fumes. ↗

— Mark All

#humor #humor

So I'm back again to the eternal question, the one that has plagued me all my life: How Do Other People Do It? How come they were given life's rule book and I missed out? Where was I when God was dispensing capability and cop on? Looking at shoes, probably. ↗

— Marian Keyes

#life #women #humor

It was this feminine conspiracy which made Southern society so pleasant. Women knew that a land where men were contented, uncontradicted ans safe in possession of unpunctured vanity was likely to be a very pleasant place for women to live. So, from the cradle to the grave, women strove to make men pleased with themselves, and the satisfied men repaid lavishly with gallantry and adoration. In fact, men willingly gave ladies everything in the world except credit for having intelligence. ↗

— Margaret Mitchell

#male-female-relationships #southern-women #humor

You know you're a mom when you open the door to the dishwasher mid-cycle and think, 'This is the closest I'm going to get to a spa treatment till next Mother's Day.'" "Joining the words 'Lose Weight, Effortlessly!' in the same sentence may be a form of hate speech." "Try to make time for the things that are important, not just the things that are urgent." "I want my work to matter, my words to count for the good, and to spread some good cheer along the way. ↗

— Judy Gruen

#inspirational #motherhood #writing-life #humor

Wounds heal. Scars fade. Awful memories can be overwritten with better ones if given the chance. The little imperfections of our psyches become overshadowed by the people whose love we cherish because they cherish us despite our faults; physical, emotional, spiritual, or otherwise. This thing we call the human condition with all its bittersweet blind corners and senseless humor evolves from within ourselves and not because of some pre-ordained reverie we desire to cast in the constellations. All in all it is what makes life worth living. ↗

— August Clearwing

#human-condition #imperfections #life #love #memories

Where ignorance lurks, so too do the frontiers of discovery and imagination ↗

— Neil deGrasse Tyson

#life #wisdom #imagination

Nuclear proliferation - the proliferation of WMDs altogether - is one of the greatest dangers of our time. ↗

— Timothy Garton Ash

#dangers #greatest #nuclear #our #our time

A game like sardines is scary, not so much for the hider but for the seekers. It's scary because you lose your companions and the whole world creeps up quiet and you slowly realize you're going to stumble upon a secret place where everyone will jump out at you. And then, when you are the very last seeker, you start to wonder if you're the only person in the world. If the hiding place somehow sucked up the players and the last one has to decide to run away or get sucked up, too. ↗

— Suzanne Palmieri-Hayes

#childhood #decisions #fear #games #hiding