#funny

The driver got out smiling. He looked about seventeen or eighteen, and for a second, I had the uneasy feeling it was Luke, my old enemy. This guy had the same sandy hair and outdoorsy good looks. But it wasn't Luke. His smile was brighter and more playful. (Luke didn't do much more than scowl and sneer these days.) The Maserati driver wore jeans and loafers and a sleeveless T-shirt. "Wow" Thalia muttered. Apollo Is hot." "He's the sun god," I said. "That's not what I meant. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#funny #hot #humor #percy-jackson #funny

I think you should know that real-life white people are not all as funny as the ones on 'Seinfeld'. ↗

— Aaron McGruder

#race #seinfeld #white #funny

they love their hair because they're not smart enough to love anything more interesting ↗

— John Green

#funny #hair #love #funny

I study men like I study books: I skim their midsections. ↗

— Bauvard

#character #funny #humor #weight #funny

You're on a road show with your penis, and trust me, I'm the last person who wants to get in your way. But I'm telling you, operation occupy-my-vagina is a no-go for the evening. ↗

— Addison Moore

#funny

Anyone who thinks impressions of old movie actors is funny absolutely cannot be trusted. I think it's like a law of nature. ↗

— Stephen King

#humor #movies #funny

I'm half italian" "Which half" asked Tessa "From the waist down ↗

— Pamela Clare

#funny

I sleep with an astronaut’s helmet on my head, just in case I get into a high-speed crash with space during the middle of the night. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#random #funny

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime. ↗