#funny

A clue! From M!" "Who's M?" "Maybe M is for Mackintosh! Maybe Grabes ans Mackintosh are in cahoots!" "Or maybe M is for Mom. Also, who says 'cahoots'? ↗

— Mac Barnett

#m #mom #funny

Wiping the rivulet of sweat running down my ear with the bottom of my muscle shirt, I snuck a sniff under my pit. Whoa. Kill a moose ↗

— Julie Anne Peters

#humor #funny

Oh. My. God.’ she said, pointing out of the window. ‘Do you know what that is?’ I nodded and said, ‘I think I may have seen it before.’ ‘That,’ said Florida, ‘is the Moonyouidiot. ↗

— Frank Cottrell Boyce

#the-moon #funny

I'm one-half Cherokee, one-half Irish, one-half Turkish, one-half Australian and one-half Korean." "Excuse me, but that's five halves," said Maggie. ↗

— Cuthbert Soup

#funny

On the stairs he was crying so much he hardly saw where he was going - not a mad boo-hoo but wailing sheets of tears, shaken into funny groans by the bump of each step as he hurried down. ↗

— Alan Hollinghurst

#children #funny

How in the world do you tellyour wife that her mother was born a unicon? ↗

— Bruce Coville

#funny

The whole thing reminds me of graduate school seminars, except these people are smart and funny and have something interesting to say. ↗

— Sarah Vowell

#funny

The Freemen have 987 levels of membership, the first three of which are achieved merely by filling out an application. The 8th level is granted upon full acceptance into the local lodge, the 13th following Initiation, the 21st at the end of the Initiate's second week, and the 89th the first time he brings snacks. ↗

— Adam Rex

#funny

People usually feel funny, smile and laugh when I tell them about my strong belief in the very existence of prehistoric advanced technology and great civilizations of wilier races. I just can't wait to see their faces at time the truth is revealed. ↗

— Toba Beta

#ancient #civilization #mystery #prehistoric #reveal

You ought to sue that son of a whore ↗

— Stephen King

#humor #funny