#funny

Don't whine over sensitive issues - cry with laughter. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #whining #funny

Thoughtful organ donors do not give to charity posthumously. They cultivate many pen pals and ship their deliveries first class. ↗

— Bauvard

#generosity #humor #organ-donor #funny

I happen to find ceilings much lovelier than the night sky myself. Sometimes I just stare at them for hours and wonder what could be up there. ↗

— Bauvard

#ceilings #constellations #funny #humor #sky

It is a known fact that pain and pleasure are the two most basic elements of life. But the secret is to simplify that fact. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #life #pain #pleasure #sadomasochism

When it comes to adding color to my face, I prefer lipstick. But no one ever lets me apply their lips, since I blush so much. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #kissing #lipstick #funny

A brick could be used to save humanity from mortality. Or at least save us from mortar. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used to instill patience in a pupil. Not a pupil as in part of an iris, but a pupil as in student. Seems a bit silly to try to teach eyes patience, because they enjoy staring at a blank screen every night while their surrounding body is prone to lying prone in bed for eight hours. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

I took a nap and used a napkin as a blanket. Obviously, it was a little nap. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

No place I'd rather be stuck than inside--er, with you, Dr. Morgan. ↗

— Kendall Grey

#gavin #funny

Dude! Get a fucking grip, it's just a song! When had I turned into a 5-yr-old girl? At the very least, I needed to get my libido under control before the song finished, because I didn’t think that my raging hard-on would be a good icebreaker. Well, figuratively speaking anyway, I thought smugly. ↗

— M.C. Lavocat

#funny-quotes #humorous-quotes #quotes #romance-funny #funny