#funny

Dean: Don't you find that somewhat of an aberration? Doesn't this disturb you my dear? After all, it's not normal. Molly: I know it's not normal for people in this world to be happy, and I'm happy. ↗

— Rita Mae Brown

#funny

Your sweetheart isn't too happy about this," Shay said, still smiling. I looked toward the back of the room. Ren watched us, holding a pair of scissors. I'd never seen a classroom tool look so dangerous. ↗

— Andrea Cremer

#funny

Funny how a little sleep, a little makeup, and a lot of contemplating can make you feel like a different person - a stronger version of yourself. ↗

— Anna Banks

#of-poseidon #quote #funny

That's good," Hunter said, panting. "Keep grinning at your attacker like that and they'll think you're way creepy. And mental." I grinned wider. "I totally love this. Who can I punch next? ↗

— Alyxandra Harvey

#hunter #kick-ass #lucy #funny

You have two emotions—apathy and rage—and nothing in between.” Ellie wanted him to stop, but she could hear the truth in his words. She closed her eyes for his killing blow. “It’s like you’re not even a person. You’re an…organism.” “That’s not true.” Ellie forced her eyes open. “I am a person. I’m just not good at it. ↗

— S.G. Redling

#funny

I'm thirty-six years old and I've been married once and he left and I don't want to feel this way anymore. Like I can't be vulnerable. Can't relax. It's exhausting, always being on the defensive, keeping my guard up. I feel like Cuba. ↗

— Noah Hawley

#funny #funny

Everything's amazing right now, and nobody's happy. ↗

— Louis C.K.

#ck #funny #louis #funny

When he talked his eyes went away from mine and then he forced himself to look straight at me and he began to explain and I knew that he felt very strange with me and that he hated me, and it was funny sitting there and talking like that, knowing he hated me. ↗

— Jean Rhys

#funny

I tore off another chuck of muffin and stared down at my chest. I shrugged and dabbed the muffin in the cum and popped it in my mouth. "I can't believe you just did that!" "Yeah," I snarled up my lip, "didn't quite think that one through all the way. ↗

— Ethan Day

#funny

What’s said in silence is best viewed in darkness. I learned that while reading a bowl of Alphabet Soup. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#reading #silence #funny