#funny

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there. ↗

— Fred Allen

#boston #find #i #just #only

I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens. ↗

— Woody Allen

#afraid #am #death #happens #i

I failed to make the chess team because of my height. ↗

— Woody Allen

#because #chess #failed #height #i

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice. ↗

— Woody Allen

#being #being funny #choice #first #funny

What did that stupid deserting crap-bag ex-boyfriend, ex-best friend with the most perfect stupid hair do? He DIDN'T delete his crap off the desktop before he fled my life and left me all alone. That's what he did. ↗

— James Patterson

#anger

Dana was what Steve called a "silent partner" in the Brixton Brothers Detective Agency. Being a silent partner meant that Dana didn't carry a business card, that his name didn't appear on the company letterhead, and he wanted nothing to do with the Brixton Brothers Detective Agency. ↗

— Mac Barnett

#funny #business

It's funny: I've been very successful and done a lot of films, and I don't really have an agent - I don't really pursue jobs, I let people come to me. ↗

— Rick Baker

#been #come #done #films #funny

I'm not blond or super fit or perfect. Not romantic, not "an individual," and definitely not a genius. So what am I? I'll tell you what : a bridesmaid. ↗

— Tamara Summers

#dating

Queer Eye for the Straight Guy is a form of service journalism. To be successful, I think it has to be a combination of a good story, it has to be funny, and it also needs to be packed with useful information. ↗

— Ted Allen

#combination #eye #form #funny #good

Show some respect. They were your grandparents. -Batman Just names and dusty frames on the wall to me. -Damien I take exception to that. There is not a speck of dust collecting on those portraits. -Alfred ↗

— Peter J. Tomasi

#comic-book #funny #graphic-novel #robin #superhero