#funny

Afore me! It is so very late, That we may call it early by and by. ↗

— William Shakespeare

#funny #late-to-bed #funny

If flatness were funny, a dinner plate would be hilarious. ↗

— Walter Moers

#insanity #funny

I pretend he doesn’t exist, and he does the same with me. ↗

— Ida Løkås

#funny #life #pretend #relationship #funny

I guess it was what my friend Phoolendu at the yoga studio would call kismet. That's like fate, but much more dramatic. ↗

— Robin Palmer

#funny #kismet #funny

After all, this was the place where I’d had my first meaningful conversation with a female, it was the site of a football’s first encounter with my groin, and above all, it was the location where I was first punched in the face by a bully. Somewhere out there, a tooth of mine lay deep within the soil. ↗

— Weston Locher

#comedy #essay #funny #humor #funny

I shook my head. "Not Interested" I said. he straightened up. "Not interested in what?" In you." I couldn't be more blunt. Excuse me, miss, but I was going to ask if you would like to sign up for karaoke. ↗

— Karen E. Olson

#funny #the-missing-ink #funny

He studied with the guru of rock n’ roll, Baba Oom Mow Mow, who taught his own version of the Golden Rule: "Do wop unto others as you would have them do wop unto you. ↗

— Swami Beyondananda

#funny

Funny + sad is what I'm pitching for, every time. ↗

— Nick Hornby

#funny

I just wrote a book. But don't go and buy it yet, because I don't think it's finished. ↗

— Lawrence Welk

#funny

I ought to write funny books. Life is really too horribly funny, but unless one`s an outsider looking on, it`s all such a bore. ↗

— Graham Greene

#funny