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Read through the most famous quotes by topic #funny
I stop stretching and face him, unwilling to back down from this visual standoff. I'm not going to let him perform his little Jedi mind tricks on me, no matter how much I wish I could perform them on him. He’s completely unreadable and even more unpredictable. It pisses me off. ↗
One quick glance around the room and I realise that I have somehow stumbled into a wannabe serial killer convention. Every single person in the room looks as if they are concealing a weapon of some sort. My heart thuds rapidly in my chest as I sneak past an elderly man who grins lecherously at me, flashing his gold tooth. Oh dear God, I’m going to die! First, I get dumped – on my birthday no less – and now I’m going to get knifed in some seedy bar! ↗
I want to be buried where I’m temporarily working without pay. As a permanent intern people will still walk all over me, but at least they'll remember my name - there will be a plaque under the memos. ↗
Bugger off kitty!" - Ryou "But before we begin this duel to the death, I have just one question. Could I get a hug?" - Melvin "Help! This supermodel is one of my fangirls!" - Ryou "A locked door?! Impossiblllllll- No wait, that's totally possible. What am I talking about?" - Melvin "Let's ditch the tosser!" - Ryou "What a lovely day." - Melvin "Gangway; women and shemales first!" -Ryou "This door is a bitch!" - Melvin "Can I be the main character now?" - Ryou "'STAB'. (Denied.) 'KILL'. (Denied.) 'MUTIL-' Ah dammit, there aren't enough spaces! Umm... 'PAIN'. (Denied.) Why are these the only words I know?!" - Melvin "I'm here to kick ass and drink cups of tea. And I'm all out of tea." - Ryou ↗
A writer’s brain is full of little gifts, like a piñata at a birthday party. It’s also full of demons, like a piñata at a birthday party in a mental hospital. The truth is, it’s demons that keep a tortured writer’s spirit alive, not Tootsie Rolls. Sure they’ll give you a tiny burst of energy, but they won’t do squat for your writing. So treat your demons with the respect they deserve, and with enough prescriptions to keep you wearing pants. ↗
What is it?” “Something with which to penetrate you.” “But you can penetrate me now. As often as you like.” “Doesn’t mean we shouldn’t explore other options.” “Hmm,” I said. “Soooo instead of diamonds or shoes, you got me a . . .” I stared at him, and waited for him to reveal the nature of his present. He grinned. “Buzz, buzz, Ellie Bee. ↗
