#funny

I think I exist, therefore I exist. I think. ↗

— David Gerrold

#philosophy #funny

Nix had told Emma before she'd left for Europe that on this trip she would 'do that which you were born to do.' Apparently, Emma was born to get kidnapped by a deranged Lykae. Her fate sucked. ↗

— Kresley Cole

#kresley-cole #nix-the-ever-knowing #funny

You look worse today than you did when you had two black eyes.” “Why, thank you, Tyler. You always say the sweetest things. ↗

— Gwen Hayes

#funny

I did what all good Iriah dads do when faced with a worthy adversary..I said Ask your mother!! ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#funny

Her heart sank. That's why he found her attractive- because he'd been so long without. He'd probably find a perfumed rock appealing at this point. ↗

— Kresley Cole

#kresley-cole #funny

Tradition or not, I sometimes thought putting children on an old guy’s lap was already creepy enough. We didn’t need to mix alcohol into it. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#funny

It all began when... they're funny, those words. Everyone uses them, without thinking what they mean. When does anything begin? With everyone it begins when you're born. Or before that, when your parents got married. Or before that, when your parents were born. Or when your ancestors colonised the place. Or when humans came squishing out of the mud and slime, dropped off their flippers and fins, and started to walk. But all the same, all that aside, for what's happened to us there was quite a definite beginning ↗

— John Marsden

#narration #start #funny

Bücher haben Ehrgefühl. Wenn man sie verleiht, kommen sie nicht mehr zurück. ↗

— Theodor Fontane

#funny

So you’ll have to wait for approval from your grandchildren.” “I wonder what our grandchildren will be like!” “Are you suggesting by that ‘our’ that you and I will have mutual grandchildren? Fie, Mrs. Kennedy! ↗

— Margaret Mitchell

#funny

Do I look like I watch Star Trek? ↗

— Michael Scott

#machiavelli #star-trek #funny