#funny

Turgenev was a very serious fellow but he could make me laugh because a truth first encountered can be very funny. When someone else's truth is the same as your truth, and he seems to be saying it just for you, that's great. ↗

— Charles Bukowski

#funny

How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand. ↗

— Emo Philips

#hand #here #how #many #people

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck chlamydia? ↗

— Sarah Mlynowski

#sarah-mlynowski #std #ten-things-we-did #funny

I have this horrible sense of humor where I think discomfort is funny - partly because I experience discomfort a lot, and it's a way of laughing at it and getting a release. ↗

— Joaquin Phoenix

#discomfort #experience #funny #getting #horrible

Will you quit shouting and let me bleed in peace! ↗

— Ransom Riggs

#humor #funny

You know who DOES have a funny bone in her body? Your Mom every night for a dollar! ↗

— Tina Fey

#funny

You've read half the books in this house? This whole house?" "Well, approximately half." Sticky said. "To be more accurate, I suppose I've read more like" - his eyes went up as he calculated - "three sevenths? Yes, three sevenths." "Only three sevenths?" said Kate, pretending to look disappointed. "And here I was prepared to be impressed. ↗

— Trenton Lee Stewart

#funny #reading #sarcasm #funny

Jared told her he used to be an exotic dancer in San Francisco.' 'My body is a gift from God,' Jared said gravely. 'Except for my hips, which are clearly a gift from the devil. ↗

— Sarah Rees Brennan

#humor #funny

I flipped the good doctor the bird. Snorting, Gideon caught my hand and pulled me back down the hall. "What is it with you and giving people the finger?" "What? It's a classic. ↗

— Sylvia Day

#funny #gideon-cross #humor #funny

I decided early in graduate school that I needed to do something about my moods. It quickly came down to a choice between seeing a psychiatrist or buying a horse. Since almost everyone I knew was seeing a psychiatrist, and since I had an absolute belief that I should be able to handle my own problems, I naturally bought a horse. ↗

— Kay Redfield Jamison

#mood-swings #psychiatry #funny