#funny

Brought up to respect the conventions, love had to end in marriage. I'm afraid it did. ↗

— Bette Davis

#afraid #brought #conventions #did #end

Being funny, it turns out, is like being a bank. It's a confidence trick. As long as everyone believes in you, you are fine. ↗

— Evan Davis

#being #being funny #believes #confidence #everyone

I like reading Ball Tongue lyrics and all that stuff. And they published a book, and I wouldn't give my lyrics, and it's all wrong in the book, and I giggle. It's funny. ↗

— Jonathan Davis

#book #funny #giggle #give #i

By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out. ↗

— Richard Dawkins

#brains #drop #means #open-minded #our

It was funny actually because that was still during the time we were dating. He would get all these calls because supposedly before we broke up, we had already broken up in the trades, in the rags or whatever. ↗

— Rosario Dawson

#already #because #before #broke #broken

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#day #even now #five #grandmother #hell

Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else's expense. And I find that that's just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind, and make people laugh without hurting somebody else's feelings. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#be kind #bullying #comedy #else #example

People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#accountant #always #ask #child #i

You know what's funny? I don't ever feel the need to escape. I have a strong marriage. I like my life. You hear about these guys having midlife crises - I don't see that happening to me. ↗

— Harry Connick, Jr.

#crises #escape #ever #feel #funny

My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger. ↗

— Billy Connolly

#definition #intellectual #listen #lone #lone ranger