#ge

Jordan slammed the coatrack down on the ground and sighed. "if you were a vampire, this would have been a lot more useful." "yes," said jace. "or, you know, just someone with a lot of coats. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#city-of-fallen-angels #humor #jace #humor

Alexia figured, delightedly, that this meant he did, in fact, tend to traipse around his private apartments in the altogether. Marriage was becoming more and more of an attractive prospect. ↗

— Gail Carriger

#marriage #nudity #soulless #humor

It's the perfect solution. We argue all the time. We can't stand each other. It's like we're already married." -Leo Hathaway to Cat- ↗

— Lisa Kleypas

#hathaways #humor #leo #marriage #humor

Courtesy of their tempers, both were now dressed in the Captain Asshole costume—which included, for no extra charge, the cape of disgrace, the booties of shame, and keys to the Fuck Up mobile. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#humor #tohrment #humor

In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language. ↗

— Mark Twain

#humor #irony #language #humor

The door buzzer sounded again. The two boys exchanged a single look before both bolting down the narrow hallway to the door. Jordan got there first. He grabbed for the coatrack that stood by the door, ripped the coats off it, and flung the door wide, the rack held aboe his head like a javelin. On the other side of the door was Jace. He blinked. "Is that a coatrack?" Jordan slammed the coatrack down on the ground and sighed. "If you'd been a vampire, this would have been a lot more useful." "Yes," said Jace. "Or, you know, just someone with a lot of coats. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#city-of-fallen-angels #coatrack #coats #funny #humor

If he's getting married, he's not longer interesting. ↗

— Colette

#marriage #men #humor

The shortest distance between two people is a smile. ↗

— Victor Borge

#kindness #music #victor-borge #humor

[Ranger] "How's your mental health?" he asked. "I heard about Soder." [Stephanie] "I'm rattled." "I have a cure." Oh, boy. He put the truck in gear and headed for the exit. "I know what you're thinking," he said. "And that wasn't where I was going. I was going to suggest work." "I knew that." He looked over at me and grinned. "You want me bad." I did. God help me. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#ranger #romance #humor

A singer can shatter glass with the proper high note," he said, "but the simplest way to break glass is simply to drop it on the floor. ↗

— Anne Rice

#humor #lestat #logic #luxury #meaning