#he

You're right, my problems are the biggest problems ever," George said. "No, honestly, it's horrible to be me. I'm rich, talented, and I make girls cry." "How do you make girls cry, exactly?" George turned to her. His blue eyes widened. His lovely face took on a forlorn, deeply troubled expression. He leaned forward, and, in a theatrical whisper, said, "My past is tragic. I wouldn't want to burden you with it. It's a pain I must suffer alone. In the rain. In silence. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#fate-s-edge #funny #george #ilona-andrews #the-edge

I am not sure if women are attracted to genius. Can you imagine the wise wizard winning the woman over the gallant swordsman? It seems rather otherworldly in more ways than one. ↗

— Criss Jami

#attraction #fantasy #funny #funny-but-true #gallant

Getting into a fight with a popular senior. Pissing off a school teacher and the local chief of police. Hanging with two major-league losers." She slapped my back. "Welcome to high school. ↗

— Harlan Coben

#high-school #humor #mickey #shelter #funny

There’s a name for devout people who worship reverence. Heretics. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #heretics #humor #funny

She'll soon forget." "Caddy," said Saffron impatiently, "she is headmistress of the private school! She's probably never forgotten anything in her whole life! ↗

— Hilary McKay

#funny #teachers #family

I wouldna cross the road to see a scrawny woman if she was stark naked and dripping wet. ~Jamie Fraser ↗

— Diana Gabaldon

#funny #jamie-fraser #outlander #scotland #skinny

Ish #303 "It's a street food vendor! Stop asking for the health score rating. ↗

— Regina Griffin

#funny-as-hell #funny-quotes #humor #food

Who's stupid now, Jimbo?! ↗

— April Henry

#character-quote #funny-as-hell #gun-point #humor #funny

Given a choice between goose egg and heartache, I would choose heartache. ↗

— Santosh Kalwar

#funny #goose-egg #heartache #life-lessons #funny

"Joss" "What?" "What?" Dylan asked back. "You just said my name." "No I didn't" "Sorry that was me." I sat up, banging my head on the roof. "Who is that?" "Hey, stay down here where the air is good, okay?" Dylan pulled me gently back down. "Hows your head?" "Not good, I think." "Um, okay, so you here me. Heather's right, you do think loud. I mean, I've never heard you before, but my Talent seems to be a lot more selective than her's. But now that she's got me turned in to you-" "Who are you?" "It's still me, Marshall. It's Dylan. I'm right here." "My name's Joel." "Joel?" "Joss, what are you talking about?" He took my face in his hands. "Who's Joel?" "The voice in my head, I guess." "Jesus. ↗

— Susan Bischoff

#chronicles #curfew #funny #heroes #susan